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For every woman who's never fit the 'cool girl' mould.

I must confess, every time I see an artsy brunette with a septum piercing, I am reminded of how decidedly uncool I am by comparison.

She'll be spending her Friday nights at a grungy dive bar, playing bass in her spare time. And I'll be re-watching Glee while my ukulele gathers dust.

Watch Kelly Mosser explain the 'warm girl' theory. Post continues after video.


Video via Instagram/@kelly.mosser.

I used to think my lack of 'coolness' was a flaw, especially growing up. I mean, that's what movies and books told us, right?

But a new theory is fighting back on this stigma. And, I'm not exaggerating, it is transforming the mindsets of women everywhere.

"Did you just… change my life," one person asked on social media upon hearing the theory.

And yeah, I get it.

The theory, created by marketing manager Kelly Mosser, is this: "If you've never felt like a cool girl, it's probably because you're not cool. You're warm."

Warm?

Yes, warm.

Kelly likens it to colours. Think about when we buy foundation; we find a shade that matches our skin's undertone — cool, warm, or neutral.

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"I think the same is true for personalities," Kelly said on TikTok.

Okay, cool — no pun intended. But what does a warm personality undertone ~actually~ mean?

Kelly explained: "You might not have the 'I don't give an eff' cool girl vibe, but if you're a warm girl, I guarantee you are a delight to talk to.

"You're probably an amazing friend; you've got a great sense of humour; you're probably a little bit of a geek; you nerd out about things that a cool girl would never be caught dead caring about; you probably bake a really good cookie; you probably just have an infectious personality that people want to be around."

She later shared an analogy that, in her eyes, perfectly summed up the experience of being a 'warm girl', or even just having one in your life.

"Imagine that you are walking through the woods. It is cold; it's the middle of the night; it's dark; you're lost; you're hungry; you're shivering; and you're starting to think, 'I don't know how longer I can do this,'" Kelly said.

"All of a sudden you come across a warm cosy cottage right in the middle of the woods. There is a porch light on and you know that you're welcome to be there. You walk inside and there is a fire going, there is a hot meal there for you.

"You start to feel safe and sheltered," she continued. "This is the exact effect that you have on other people around you. It's the simple act of being in your presence that makes people feel this way. I can't imagine anything more valuable. "

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The marketing manager insisted that "it's time we stop celebrating the cool girl as the gold standard".

"We can celebrate warm, cool, anything in between. The important thing is to stop trying to be cool if that's not how you're wired."

Needless to say, Kelly's words pulled at heartstrings everywhere. And it didn't take long for self-professed 'warm girls' to share their delight in the comments.

"As a fellow not-cool girl, I love this," one user wrote.

"Being mysterious is not for me. I am genuine and warm and friendly and that can come across as childlike or embarrassing but I just embrace it," another added.

"I think this may have healed me," a third penned.

"This made me cry," shared a further user. "Warm girlie checking in. Never been a cool girl a day in my life but warm perfectly describes me. I'm a cosy fall day, a giant soft hug, a steady rain, a warm baked good."

A few people confessed they didn't feel as though they belonged to either camp, with one writing: "Neutral girlie — contributes nothing but happy to be here." But Kelly countered this mindset, responding: "Not true! Balances us out."

Meanwhile, some skeptical comments suggested the theory was promoting division between women. Kelly argued that this commentary was "missing the point".

She said that, hitherto, society has believed that only cool girls are "worthy," and the 'warm girl' theory pushes back on this.

"In the old model, at the top of the worthiness food chain, we have cool kids, underneath the cool kids we have everyone else. This is divisive, and it splits us into two camps," she said.

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"This model does everyone dirty. It often depicts cool kids as mean and shallow, and it also often depicts these uncool kids as losers. Nobody is winning here."

Kelly suggested that the new cool-to-warm spectrum is "healthier for everyone".

"Instead of organising ourselves on this vertical axis of cool to uncool, we're all on the same playing field here; we're all on the same level of worthiness. In order for this theory to be beneficial to any of us, this cannot become a conversation of us versus them.

"This theory acknowledges that we are all expressing and relating somewhere along this spectrum of cool to warm in a way that comes completely naturally to us."

According to the TikTok creator, cool girls have strengths in trend setting, culture shaping, and setting boundaries, while warm girls have strengths in inclusivity, enthusiasm, and comfort.

"The magic of this theory depends on all of us recognising and celebrating the strengths that the other side has that we might not naturally have ourselves," Kelly insisted.

"The way girlhood and womanhood is supposed to work is that we all have our unique gifts and strengths, [and] we are all equally worthy. We have so much to offer one another, and learn from one another."

Hear! hear! Now, back to watching Glee.

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Feature Image: Instagram/@kelly.mosser