Let me introduce you to the ‘situationship’.
The situationship is basically when you’re dating someone without any of the labels or commitment.
Urban Dictionary defines it as: “A relationship that has no label on it… like a friendship but more than a friendship but not quite a relationship.”
Confused? Imagine being in one.
The term has been around for a while – Cosmopolitan even did an explainer on it in May last year – but it’s recently made headlines once again, after a woman detailed her own experiences with the situationship on a blog.
Writing on xoNecole, Raeven Bostic said she’s been in a situationship for three years, and it’s been working out just fine for her so far.
“A situationship is basically you and another person doing couple things without being an official couple,” she explained.
“It’s a concept that is celebrated amongst men and hated amongst women. I used to hate it too… Until I got in one.”
Raeven said her situationship started when she reached out to an old friend from university on Twitter.
The two started chatting as friends, before eventually admitting they’d developed feelings for each other.
Because of the distance between them, they “agreed to let whatever happens happen”, meaning they decided not to put any labels on their relationship, even though they had definitely moved beyond the point of being just friends.
“Now I know, three years is a long *ss time to be emotionally invested in someone without the promise of a relationship,” continued Raeven.
“Trust me, I’ve had several pep talks and coming to Jesus moments with myself about whether I was stupid or not for allowing it to happen and even more so, accepting not having a title so willingly.”
But she said after discussing her situationship with friends, she realised the most important thing is that she’s happy, which she is.
Raeven said her situationship is actually the healthiest relationship she’s ever been in, even though she and her partner sometimes only see each other once a month.
She said the secret to making it work is “communication, respect, and fun”.
According to Study Breaks, situationships are a huge hit with millennials, who may be “scared of the responsibility and pressure that come along with the label ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend’.”
But not everyone is onboard with the concept.
Study Breaks went on to warn about the complications involved with situationships, claiming the lack of clarity can be stressful and anxiety-inducing.
“There is a very clear ‘you like me, and I like you’ narrative with the added benefits of sex and dates, but no one steps up and takes it farther than that,” they reported.
“The ambiguity that accompanies a situationship can be taxing on both individuals.”
A quick scroll through Twitter shows many others are similarly not cool with situationships:
Over 25 and in a situationship? Grow up. Wasting time for no reason. Just say what you want and keep it moving beloved.
— A. (@ARelz527) June 26, 2018
Get out of that situationship ladies, he won’t change his mind and you’re going to grow resentful because you’re making sacrifices nobody asked you to make and he’s not acknowledging
— ride dick bicycle (@itszeebih) June 24, 2018
This generation is making it so hard to find someone to actually build with. They want sex but don’t want the feelings to come with it. They want you to themselves but don’t want the title to come with. I’m not settling for a situationship. Yall have soooooo much growing up to do
— Terry.B.K (@TerryBK2) June 25, 2018
So the next guy that proposes a situationship to me is getting roundhouse kicked in the face
— Jay Da GA Kittay (@jay_exploradora) June 24, 2018
To each their own, right?