rogue

The post about "the chair" that literally every woman will understand.

To all the women out there with their shit ~marginally~ together, this is an ode to our most loyal of companions through life.

She who has stood by us through thick and thin – rushed mornings, last minute plans, first dates, stressful meetings, job interviews. All of it.

She’s the inanimate object dear to our hearts that plays one of the most important, nay, crucial roles in our day-to-day existence: ensuring our clean clothes are… housed, albeit temporarily.

I’m talking, of course, about The Chair *cue angelic music*.

We (and by “we”, I mean the women who keep screwed up receipts in their bag and probably avoid wearing white) all have The Chair.

But it’s not, I repeat: not for sitting. That would be… sacrilegious.

The Chair is a step up from the floordrobe (because we are no longer teenagers), and much more elegant that the “bedrobe” (pfft, please). It exists for the storage of clothes that have just made their way back from the wash, or were recently trialled as an outfit for the day but didn’t quite make the cut, or worn once, but not dirty. They’re clean, they just haven’t found their way… home, yet.

So – like wearily stopping in at a highway motel at midnight on the way home from a roadtrip, they take up temporary residence on The Chair (or Chairdrobe, as she prefers to be called on weekends when she lets her hair down).

The Chair – bless her upholstered soul – was pushed to the forefront of our minds today when one of our receipt-scrunching compadres tentatively shared her own appreciation of its existence on Mumsnet.

“Does anyone else have ‘the chair’ in their bedroom?” asked user Teatimeted, hopefully.

Oh, hun, do we ever.

She continued: “You know, the chair? The chair where worn but not ready to go in the wash clothes go because it feels weird hanging them back up if they’re not clean?”

YEP.

“Then the pile of clothes gets so big you can no longer see the chair. Then when you crack and de-clothe the chair you find things you’d totally forgotten about?”

TOO REAL.

She concluded: “Or is this just me? Am I the only slovenly one?”

NO, my friend, you most certainly are not. Us fellow slightly-slob-like women salute you.

The comments mirrored this sentiment:

“Chair? I have a chaise longue. A chair wasn’t enough for my Clothes Pile of Doom,” said one.

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“I’d like a chair. But I have a floordrobe instead,” added another.

“I have (shhh) two chairs…” confessed one more.

While another asked: “Why else have a chair in a bedroom?!”

Why indeed.

And The Chair’s legacy lives on through Twitter:

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And Instagram:

 

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And… our hearts.

But look, if you don’t have the chair because you’re not…gross, we truly hope to meet you at your level someday (perhaps eliminating a deep codependency on ~The Chair~ is a new year’s resolution for some – and for that, we wish you luck).

As for the rest of us – who find comfort in our slightly-scrappy ways – let us bow our heads for moment’s silence in deep, deep gratitude of The Chair.

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