What I wish I'd told my teenage self about losing my virginity.

The following is an extract from Well This is Growing Up, a biographical self-help book for teenage girls by Megan Street. 

I’ll never forget when I was in my final year of school and there was this horrible Facebook page that someone created, which was called ‘Hursty Goss’. People submitted girls’ names and ratings out of ten on both their ability in bed and how likely guys were to ‘get some’ in bed with this girl.

The page posted it with the girls’ last names and all, for everyone to see. One night, my friend inboxed me the link to the page (which
I had no idea about) and said that there was one on me! I still remember my stomach dropping. I followed the link and read on. It said, ‘Megan Street 0/10, no points; don’t bother, she’s just a massive frigid c*ck tease. We can’t give you a rating on her ability as no one knows it.’

losing virginity teenager
Megan Street has some advice for her teenage self.

After reading this, I immediately felt like I had to prove this ‘Hursty Goss’ wrong. I was so close to just messaging the guy I liked at the time to let me come over and he could have sex with me. SO CLOSE, but then I decided to sleep on my decision (by myself).

The next day I realised and said to myself: ‘No, I’m waiting for the right person’, so I just ignored the post. This is an example of how easily you can make a decision that you can never take back when you are young.

It is difficult to keep your virginity in a world where so much relates to sex and everyone is always banging on about it. I know how it feels to be caught in the moment and not thinking straight when things are getting heated.

As someone who kept her virginity long after high school, I know all too well what it’s like to be called a loser, dork, frigid, or ‘the girl who won’t put out’.

Megan found her name on a Facebook group shaming girls for their sexual behaviour.

It’s hard because, literally everyone, especially in school, is talking about sex: who they slept with on the weekend, who they f**ked, who they horizontally banged bodies with… and I’m not going to lie, it’s hard to ‘walk the road less travelled’.

These days almost everywhere you are/look, there is sexual content. If you are already feeling like a bit of a loser because you’ve never slept with anyone, these things can remind you that you may not feel hot enough and ultimately make you feel even crappier than you may already feel. These things can also give you the nudge to make you curious and sleep with any guy who will take you… pun intended. You think that once you sleep with someone you may feel more desirable; you may feel as though you can go out and sleep with heaps of guys now that your first
time is over.

At the end of the day after all, it’s supposed to feel good; you can even have sex talks with your friends rather than sitting there awkwardly twiddling your thumbs trying your best to fit in with the convo until someone says, ‘How would you know? You haven’t even had sex.’

But… deep down you would know that you didn’t lose your virginity for yourself, and that you did it to 1. Know how it feels
(were curious) and 2. To fit in with everyone.

I’m not going to tell you how to live your life and what you should and shouldn’t do, but what I am recommending is that if you are going to sleep with a guy (maybe even let him take your virginity) make sure that you are doing it for the right reasons. You and I both know that you have respect for yourself, and the guy you end up sleeping with should have respect and treat you with respect before he gets lucky enough to get in your pants.

If you wanna lose it to a guy you met that day through your Tinder app, go ahead, but I’m just warning you that once your virginity is gone, there is no undo button. You can’t backspace that sh*t. For the rest of your life that is your first time memory of sex. Make it a good one!

*Extract has been edited from it's original format. 

Megan Street a 24 year old Melbourne author, Miss Universe Australia finalist, model and qualified secondary school teacher who lost a friend to suicide a few years ago. She was then hugely inspired to help young women by writing a self help book for today's youth. 10% of all profits from sales of Well This is Growing Up go to Beyondblue. The book is available for purchase at Angus and Robertson