The manager told me working in the sex industry means being let in on the secrets of the male mind…
There is no supply without demand.
And many documentaries ask why women sell sex, but … why do men pay for it? What exactly are they paying for?
I worked two months as a brothel receptionist to find out.
“Surely it’s obvious” – that’s the first answer I always got – ’They’re paying for sex.’ Men are beasts, animals. Alright, alright, we’re all animals. But men like sex in a way women don’t… the proof is the hundreds (probably thousands to be honest) of men paying for sex in Australia every day.
I’ve grown up in an era of casual relationships, ‘friends-with-benefits’ and Tinder, but I guess I never quite escaped the idea that sex should happen within a loving, committed relationship. Sure, sex can be ‘just sex’… but why do casual relationships always seem to have an end date? They reach a point when things are not so casual anymore. That proves sex can’t really be ‘just sex’. Confused? Maybe I was.
Anyway, the brothel that agreed to have me work and film is big. It’s in the centre of Melbourne’s club district and can have up to 25 women on duty on a Friday night. I knew it would be confronting and interesting, but did not expect the brothel to unsettle my belief in love.
Victoria, the manager, said working in the sex industry means being let in on the secrets of the male mind, and that I would never look at men the same way again. Men, she said, see sex and love as two separate but related things – like third cousins who get along really well when they catch up, but actually live in different cities. Men compartmentalise while in a woman’s head everything including love and sex is all connected by a long, twist-y string.
As I clocked in for my 8pm – 8am shift I spoke with women getting dressed up to start work, or men who’d wandered in after knock off drinks. They told me that in a brothel men and women tell it like it really is, underneath all the romance and heartbreak and lust. Relationships are transactions; men trade love for sex, and women trade sex for love. In the brothel they’d just replaced love with money, and things were cleaner and simpler as a result. It was a sobering thought, I considered my past relationships and had to admit that perhaps they were right. Maybe. Sometimes….
Sexologist Nikki Goldstein- Single But Dating:
And then I’d leave work while the birds were tweeting and dawn was breaking. I’d catch a tram to Northcote to see Nick as he woke up, the guy I’d just started dating.
I did not expect to find a boy while filming in Melbourne for two months. We met through an old friend, Mel. Nick was her new housemate so Nick and I we were introduced over pizza. I was tired and a bit rude, he asked Mel for my number.