1. Nothing good happens at 3am.
2. You should never buy the smallest size you can fit in to.
4. If you are single, no one can decide if you are pathetic or dangerous.
5. Grey hair is beautiful, grey roots make you look deranged.
6. Time flies. Fact.
7. You are a probably a little bit of an alcoholic. Unless you are actually an alcoholic in which case you may have given up drinking.
8. Worry is both your enemy and your closest companion.
9. You are always hungry.
10. Finding your first grey pube is a terrible shock. And then you move on.
11. You are always curious about your shrink’s sex life.
12. Your mother is in shop windows.
13. If you check out of technology, you are checking out of life. Don’t do it.
14. You become aware of your legacy. This might turn you into Tony Blair so be careful.
15. You become obsessed with death admin but not death itself… yet.
16. If you don’t have any old friends you should be worried.
17. You talk about sleep more than you talk about sex.
18. Infidelity doesn’t necessarily mean it’s over. Contempt does.
19. Things get stuck in your teeth.
20. Something always hurts.
21. And then you think it’s cancer.
22. You know more and less at the same time. You think they might cancel each other out. So where does that leave us?
23. Good sleep is better than good sex.
24. Weird things start growing on your face.