My moral compass on this subject is a little shaky. I don’t think it’s right that celebrities are photographed when they’re off-duty with their kids, usually without their knowledge let alone their permission. I think it’s intrusive and unnecessary and I choose not to publish those kinds of pictures on Mamamia.
And yet? When I come across these photos elsewhere, I don’t always look away. In fact, I have been known to pore over photos of certain celebrity children. Particularly if their surname is Jolie-Pitt. Can’t get enough of those rainbow kiddies. They fascinate me and I’m not even sure I can articulate why.
It gets worse. Invariably, when I look at shots of famous people with their children, I draw conclusions, which are probably wildly inaccurate. This is also known as ‘being judgemental’.
I see photos of Victoria Beckham teetering along in 15cm heels and a skin-tight dress and I wonder if her three sons get frustrated with Mummy’s inability to walk let alone run around with them. I see photos of Katie Holmes taking Suri to a Beyonce concert and I think ‘Shouldn’t that little girl be in bed?’ I see certain celebrities with their hair and make-up fully done, captured in suspiciously photogenic moments with their immaculately dressed kids and I think ‘you totally set this up as a photo opportunity and that’s a bit yuck’. I see the Jolie-Pitts on yet another toy shopping spree in yet another country and think ‘Those kids seem to get new toys every week’. A few weeks ago, when I saw that baby twin Vivienne has her ears pierced, I thought, “Oh, I wouldn’t have picked the Jolie-Pitts as ear-piercers”. And no, I don’t even know what that MEANS.
Admittedly, many of my observations are benign. For example, I’ve noticed that Brad and Angelina always dress their kids in neutrals colours. They don’t go for logos or anything fancy, preferring simple unisex bits that are shared among siblings and passed across and down. I assume this is a practical decision as much as an aesthetic one. How on earth could you keep track of six separate small wardrobes?
A more pressing question might be: why do I waste brain cells on such inane thoughts?
I have a life. I have children of my own and I can’t even find them matching socks. This is because the part of my brain marked “kids clothes” is currently occupied with the knowledge that Pax and Zahara share their cargo pants.