Ahhhhh, modern dating.
It truly is a terrifying, electrifying maze of sexual confusion, isn’t it? Unless your lover’s interweb vocab exists solely of “DTF?” or “GTFO” it can be tricky to know what in the flying banana is going on.
And to make life OH SO MUCH HARDER, now there are 13 new terms on the block.
But fear not, dear sweet baffled daters! We shall decode these strange additions to the language of
love intimacy casual sex together, because that’s what friends are for.
Okay, so we’re dipping our toes in the water, because I’m guessing most of you already know what “ghosting” means.
Put simply, it’s the act of entirely ceasing all contact with your lover out of the blue without any particular reason.
Basically, it’s the coward’s approach to breaking things off. Boo.
LISTEN: Is it time to give up internet dating? (Post continues after audio.)
While I really do wish this was some amateur rapper’s stage name, it’s actually the more drawn-out version of ghosting, also known as “the lazy coward’s approach to breaking things off”. Double boo.
OH MY BEJEEBUS I LOVE THIS ONE.
A “thirst trap” is when someone posts a photo to social media pretending it’s about one thing (i.e. “I just looooove my new beach towel”) when REALLY they just want you to observe their pushed-together-taking-up-half-of-the-photo-boob-cleavage.
HINT: We’ve all had this – and we’ve all awkwardly grinned/cringed the entire way through it.
“DTR” stands for “define the relationship”, that super serious ‘so what are we?’ chat that inevitably comes a month or two into dating.
If you see people asking "FBO?" they're asking "are you Facebook official?", also known as Level 1000 of Relationship Commitment in the modern era.
So if the person you've been seeing suddenly stops wanting to catch up, but keeps sending you Snapchats and texts? They've "benched" you, which means they're keeping you around as a secondary booty call option, but have probably already started sleeping with other people. Soz.
Watch: A visual explainer on 'benching'. (Post continues after video.)