The 13 new online dating terms you're going to be seeing a lot.

Ahhhhh, modern dating. 

It truly is a terrifying, electrifying maze of sexual confusion, isn’t it? Unless your lover’s interweb vocab exists solely of “DTF?” or “GTFO” it can be tricky to know what in the flying banana is going on.

And to make life OH SO MUCH HARDER, now there are 13 new terms on the block.

But fear not, dear sweet baffled daters! We shall decode these strange additions to the language of love intimacy casual sex together, because that’s what friends are for.

Ghosting

Okay, so we’re dipping our toes in the water, because I’m guessing most of you already know what “ghosting” means.

Put simply, it’s the act of entirely ceasing all contact with your lover out of the blue without any particular reason.

Basically, it’s the coward’s approach to breaking things off. Boo.

LISTEN: Is it time to give up internet dating? (Post continues after audio.)

Slow fade

While I really do wish this was some amateur rapper’s stage name, it’s actually the more drawn-out version of ghosting, also known as “the lazy coward’s approach to breaking things off”. Double boo.

Thirst trap

OH MY BEJEEBUS I LOVE THIS ONE.

A “thirst trap” is when someone posts a photo to social media pretending it’s about one thing (i.e. “I just looooove my new beach towel”) when REALLY they just want you to observe their pushed-together-taking-up-half-of-the-photo-boob-cleavage.

Amazing.

DTR

HINT: We’ve all had this – and we’ve all awkwardly grinned/cringed the entire way through it.

“DTR” stands for “define the relationship”, that super serious ‘so what are we?’ chat that inevitably comes a month or two into dating.

FBO

If you see people asking "FBO?" they're asking "are you Facebook official?", also known as Level 1000 of Relationship Commitment in the modern era.

Benching

So if the person you've been seeing suddenly stops wanting to catch up, but keeps sending you Snapchats and texts? They've "benched" you, which means they're keeping you around as a secondary booty call option, but have probably already started sleeping with other people. Soz.

Watch: A visual explainer on 'benching'. (Post continues after video.)

Tuning

Super simple: someone who is tuning you is testing the waters, without coming out and declaring their love for you with a 10-piece marching band and string quartet. They like you, but they're being chill about it.

Cuffing season

"Cuffing season" basically = winter time, when single people are chilly and therefore want cuddle buddies to settle down with.

Haunting

WHEN THE PESKY GHOSTER DUDE MAKES A BLOODY REAPPEARANCE AND RUINS YOUR ENTIRE WEEK/MONTH/LIFE.

Stupid freakin' haunters.

Catch and release

This sums up those people who live for the chase perrrrrfectly. Someone who catch and releases was entirely focused on getting you, but never keeping you. They get bored super easily, you see. They're about as crappy as the ghosters and haunters and we hate them lots.

Talking

"Wait! I've heard this word before!" I hear you say. But no, reader friends, the dating definition is slightly different to the one you've read in Webster's Dictionary.

"Talking" is to say you're flirtatiously texting here and there, but haven't made the jump into, you know, real life yet. (Post continues after gallery.)

The Lemming

This douchelord is currently in a committed relationship, but will exit it PRONTO as soon as his "I swear we're just best friends" friend gets out of their relationship.

See? Douchelord.

Ship

To "ship" two people means you either A) want them to be in a relationship or B) approve of them being together.

Want more of this? Get your latest dating know-how from our love hub The Buzzword now.

What slang do you not understand? Let us know in the comments...