real life

What counts as cheating?

Flirting? Kissing? Texting? Technology and social media has definitely changed our relationships. But how do you give advice to your single friends when you have been married for over a decade? Has the cheating curve moved? What do you think constitutes cheating in 2011?

Amanda* writes:


I need unbiased advice about a friend’s relationship. I’m not sure what to do so please help in any way you can. My friend Kitty* has been having second thoughts about her boyfriend for the past few weeks. She’s been acting extremely needy, possessive and incredibly insecure. I confronted her about it yesterday and told her to calm down, trust your gut instinct and take a breath.What she didn’t tell me until our conversation yesterday was that she had just found out that in the beginning of her relationship (before they had had sex, which was a few months) her BF was still sexually active with other women, he didn’t find it a big deal because it wasn’t serious for him until they “sealed the deal” so to speak.

My initial reaction was that he was cheating and unfaithful, but after sitting back and thinking about it, I wasn’t so sure. I married my teenage sweetheart, we’ve been together for 12 years so maybe this is clouding my judgment? I realise not everything is black and white, but what is tolerable and is my initial reaction warranted?