When I first told my mum how old my new boyfriend was (he was 34 and I was 21) she freaked out.
“Don’t marry him. He’ll treat you like a child.”
“Look at how it turned out for Lady Di and Prince Charles.”
And they were just a couple of the thing she blurted out. In her defense my dad is 12 years older than she is and did sometimes treat her like a child. Also Mum was very affected by the breakdown of the marriage of Lady Di and Prince Charles.
It’s just that I’ve always found myself attracted to older men. My first boyfriend was 20 years my senior and my husband is 12 years older than I am. I’ve always enjoyed the company of older men much more than guys my own age.
I’m not sure I’d ever consider dating, let alone marrying someone 50 years my senior, which is the age difference between Hugh Hefner and Crystal Harris (pictured above courtesy of Getty Images) who have been married for the past four years. Most of them would look at them and say things like “trophy wife” and “sugar daddy” but it turns out that relationships involving younger women and much older men are way more complicated than that.
It turns out that men who can “spin a good yarn” are more attractive to young women, according to new research, and this is why younger women are so often attracted to older men – because they have a few good stories to tell and have become really good at telling them over the years.
Apparently listening to an older man tell a good story leaves women feeling “comfort, joy and excitement” according to psychology research conducted by the University of North Carolina. It’s also about status, and if any gender is good at talking themselves up, it’s men.
The moment I knew he was the one. Article continues after this video.
As annoying as it is, women have a biological urge to date men who they feel have “good genes” and can be a “good dad”. Storytelling ability is a “positive evolutionary trait,” Donahue says, one that translates well into fatherhood.
The same can’t be said for men though, who don’t consider a women more attractive if she’s good at telling stories.
The conclusion of the report stated that, “Beyond the idea that women are attracted to a man who is a ‘good dad’ (one who can provide tangible resources) the results… may imply that women actually instead prefer a man of high status (who presumably could gain resources through his talents or position).”
It’s not very feminist is it? Good genes, high status, a good provider…maybe it’s time our biological urges joined 2016. Women no longer need someone of high status who is a good provider because we can do all of that ourselves.
However our biology wants what our biology wants.
This must explain the attraction between Hefner and Harris. Hefner would have some awesome stories to tell. My husband is an incredible story teller and when were were dating it was incredibly attractive. Our conversations were always better than the sex, well, almost, and to this day we always have a million things we want to discuss.
We've never been one of those couples who don't talk while driving somewhere in the car or during dinner at a restaurant.
We talk face-to-face, via text, via email, any way possible.
Sometimes the sharing of a good yarn is all a girl needs in order to find a man attractive. Sadly most online dating services have changed how we interact with each other, removing much of the conversation from those first few weeks of interaction.
That's why getting to know each other is so important. That's why good conversation is so crucial. Otherwise you'll be missing out on some fabulous older men.