When my firstborn was three months old, I looked at my partner and said, “if we’re going to have another one, we need to do it now”.
The thought of going back to work, getting my pre-baby body back, being done with nappies and night feeds and swaddles, only to have to do it all again in a few years' time terrified me.
I wanted to rip the bandaid off and have them close together so that I could then focus on myself and rebuilding my life, once.
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Well, be careful what you wish for. A month later I was pregnant again and furiously googling, "babies 12 months apart – help".
My ‘Irish twins’, as they’re referred to, are now 15 months and nine weeks old, and I’m only just getting my head around the gig (i.e. I’ve brushed my teeth every morning four days in a row).
Here are a few things I wish I’d known.
Your body will feel very broken.
‘Broken’ doesn’t even come close to how my body feels after delivering two babies in just over a year.
It’s more like my hip bones are grinding upon each other.
And my core pretty much just collapses every time I go to lift everything.
And my vagina is only barely being held together by dozens of stitches… oh wait, it is.
And my boobs have gone through the everyday cycle of my washing machine 3457 times with a stray shoe, the contents of half a sandpit and the car keys I can’t find, when they’re used to only being washed on a delicate cycle.
It will be just like having actual twins.
You’ll go from feeding one, to feeding the other, then the first will need feeding again.
Same deal when it comes to changing their nappies and clothes and cot sheets and bath towels and... everything else really. Then you’ll put one down for a nap only to realise the other is crying and needs to be rocked to sleep as well.
See, told you, twins.
It will be nothing like having actual twins.
But actually, not really. Because they’re two completely different little humans. I know, cray cray, hey? But also, THEY’RE BORN 12 MONTHS APART.
My eldest is running and my newborn can’t hold her head up.
My eldest feeds herself and my newborn, well, can’t eat unless I feed her.
My eldest says ‘eating’ when she wants food and my newborn just screams. So yeah, not really twins at all.