About the time I was around eight or nine, my nana decided to go through a natural living stage.
Basically, her idea was that home remedies were the way to go. She went searching high and low for old time, traditional methods to treat our family, and boy did she find some doozies along the way.
Just as an FYI, you should know that this post is sponsored by Euky Bear Natural Cough Syrup. But all opinions expressed by the author are 100 per cent authentic and written in their own words.
So here, for your enjoyment, confusion and information if you’re so inclined, I present the weirdest home remedies I have ever come across.
1. Onions on the feet to cure coughing at night.
This is one that I’ve seen doing the rounds on Facebook recently. Basically the premise being that half a cut onion is applied to the base of the foot and this apparently stops incessant coughing. Most parents know that dressing a child is akin to wrangling an octopus into a string bag at the best of times, so God knows how I’m supposed to restrain him enough to stick half a soup pack on his foot. But it’s also good to know that a salt herring does the same thing, just in case you have one of those lying around too.
2. Earwax cures cold sores.
Whenever I hear something like this, my mind starts to wander. At what point in someone’s life do they sit there, feeling the anxious tingle of a cold sore and make that choice. The mind boggles. Never the less, if you find yourself in this situation with a hot date arriving imminently, forget the bathroom cupboard and turn first to your ears. I have absolutely no further information on this, nor do I want any.
3. Urine kills acne. And ear infections it would seem.
Once again, someone, somewhere: Wee plus Face.
It’s unclear whether this is to be your urine, or whether a friend can assist, but either way, don’t waste your money on unnecessary products from the shop, just splash some pee on your face. I’m sure that’s what Miranda Kerr does.
And hey, if you find yourself in the unfortunate position of having an ear infection at the same time as an acne breakout, you can always just tilt your head to the side and get the wee – multi-tasking. Rumours have it that Elvis’s mum subscribed to the old wee cures ear infections trick. Burning love indeed.
Another option available to you in ear infection ville is to stuff moist tobacco into your ear. It’s unclear what the tobacco is to be moistened with. Probably wee. That seems to be a theme.
If tinkle facials are not really your thing, don’t fret pet, you still have options.
4. Tomatoes also kill acne.
Tomatoes also kill acne so I’m told. It’s very simple. Just take half a tomato. Pulverise the bejeebus out of it and apply for an hour at a time, twice a day. It sucks if you actually have to go out in public and you’ll probably smell like pizza sauce, but it’s your choice.
5. Steam showers help clear the nose.
Now this is one that I know does actually work. Just add a shot of Eucalyptus Spray before turning on the hot water. However, the length of time it takes to achieve any sort of difference must be thought out well in advance. Just go in prepared is all I’ll say. I had heard that steam helps clear noses and chests and all that sick business, so there I sat with my toddler, on the floor of the bathroom with the shower cranking. Waiting…waiting…waiting. I’m sure you know, toddlers have no patience, so the next 20 minutes was basically just me trying to prevent him running out the door or into the scalding water. We counted cotton balls, rearranged bathroom cupboards and unrolled toilet paper. I think I even made some vague attempt to remove some old grout. After a significant time imprisoned together, I gave up when his interest in shoving things down the toilet was too much to handle.