rogue

'He clipped his nails at the table.' 21 women share the weirdest date they've been on.

Dating in 2020 Is. A. Minefield.

It takes a certain level of risk to meet up with a stranger for the first (or second, or third) time, and to all that choose to take that risk, I applaud you.

But with it, comes a guarantee, (okay, chance) of embarrassing, awkward, and downright weird encounters.

So, when we came across a particular twitter thread where people were sharing their odd dating stories, let me tell you, we were hooked.

And because we simply can’t get enough of these cringeworthy stories, we put a callout to Mamamia readers to hear their odd dating stories… and their answers have made us feel a little better about not leaving the house for eight consecutive weeks.

Watch: The horoscopes when they’re on a date. Post continues below. 

Video by Mamamia

Bella*

I went on a date once and the guy told me to meet him at a really dark bar but instead of telling me where he was he insisted I “find him as he was the most attractive person there”.

I did two laps of the bar and couldn’t see him.

Then I had to call him to see where he was. In hindsight, I should have just left.

ADVERTISEMENT

Paula

I once went on a date in a beer garden where a pigeon flew into me and dropped down dead on the table. Good ice breaker, to be honest.

Terri-Anne

I was on a date with a guy at a lovely waterfront bar. He proceeds to get nail clippers out of his pocket and starts clipping away at his filthy nails.

One flew off into my cocktail.

Claire

After my second date with a guy I met at the pub, he took me back to his house where I didn’t realise he still lived with his parents.

He then proceeded to show me his room or more specifically, his extensive alphabetised porn collection.

Rikki

I went on a date with a guy who loved sport, in particular, rugby league. We organised to go for a nice walk along the esplanade in Cronulla and he brought his footy along with him (I know, this sounds a bit lame, but I found it super arousing).

After our walk, we stopped in the park and passed and kicked the footy around. He threw a really hard pass at me and it jarred my finger. My finger instantly went black and blue and puffed up to the size of a large spring roll. I had to go home and ice it.

Kee

I said living in Bondi can get a little rowdy with all of the backpackers. He called me a xenophobe.

Bekki

I went on a date with a guy and he asked to meet me at a cafe. I turned up and he wasn’t wearing shoes. I said “I don’t think they’ll let us in without shoes” and he said, “we’re not going in”. He proceeded to take me to JB Hi-Fi and I watched him play a PlayStation for an hour.

Listen: Do you need a sealer date when you’re searching for a relationship? Post continues after audio.

Emma

I once went on a date with a guy who told me that Australian women are lazy (he was also Australian). He then opened up about how he’s been to Ukraine twice to try and find a wife – like one of those dating/set up/mail order deals.

I was like, ‘well this is never going to work but tell me EVERYTHING.’

Ella

I went on a first date to a concert with a guy once and, after the concert, we went to meet a friend of mine at a club.

About 10 minutes later he was making out with my ‘friend’ in front of me and I left.

Then he kept texting me saying he was only making out with her because another dude was hitting on her and he was protecting her.

I ghosted the f*ck out of him and my former friend.

Elise

I went on the world’s worst date and the key takeaways were – he was drunk when I turned up and planned it to be in a bar that had no phone reception so I couldn’t message a friend to get her to extract me.

He propositioned the two women also sitting at our table to have a foursome, we got a cab to a pub where my ex was the manager and he made racist comments about our taxi driver.

ADVERTISEMENT

Sonya

I went on a second date with a guy and he wanted to cook me dinner, so we went to the supermarket to buy the ingredients.

The first warning bell was when he was scooting around on the trolley like a child and kept disappearing and jumping out at me, I was so not impressed (and me being a teacher, I just wanted to very sternly ask him to stop it!) then he got all the stuff and went through the check-out.

When we got out to the car, he started laughing and said “guess what I’ve got in my pocket?” I, of course, couldn’t guess, so he dramatically produced two avocados which he had stolen.

And when you think it couldn’t get any worse, ohhh just wait. He then said he needed to go to the toilet, no toilet nearby, so he did a wee in the car park beside a bush!

By this time, There was nothing I could do, so had to get through it.

And just to top it off, we got in the car, he opened up a cold can of beer which he had cooling in his car fridge and announced “one for the road” and proceeded to drive me home.

I ate as fast as I could, got out of there and never saw him again!

Isabelle*

I was chatting to a guy on Tinder and he asked what I was doing, so I told him. 20 minutes later, guess who arrives?

I thought It was clear (and obvious) that when you tell someone you’re at a pub eating with your family, that in fact isn’t an invitation to come along…

Tamara

I met up with a guy from Tinder and literally the first thing he said to me was, “Oh, I was worried you had a big chin from your photos, but you don’t.” Like as if I should be pleased about that.

On a separate occasion, I was on a date with a British guy who said he fancied himself an amateur comedian.

I asked him to tell me a joke, and he said he broke the ice by telling girls he was pro-Hitler.

I told him I didn’t need to be Jewish to be horrifically offended, and he said, “It’s a joke. It’s edgy.” Then yeah I got my bag and left.

Amy

I went on a first Tinder date and after we had hooked up he asked how many people I’d been with. When I said how many (more than him), he got dressed without saying a word and left. I never heard from him again.

Jess

I once went on a date with a guy who when he realised I got a bit of mud on my toe (I was wearing mules) pulled out his handkerchief and was like… I’ll wipe it off for you.

When I was like… no, it’s okay. He offered like three more times and then got annoyed and was like… I’m trying to be chivalrous.

Clare

We were going on a date to the movies, and his mum dropped him off and I met her.

Then we went in, and I was so awkward that I didn’t sit in the seat next to him, but like, the one over so there was a one-seat gap.

At the end we said bye and never spoke again.

ADVERTISEMENT

Kaela

I went on a date to a fancy French restaurant this guy chose, where the waitresses actually spoke French. He spent the entire date (I’m talking 10 mins at a time, about three or four times) talking French with the waitress when she would bring us things (he was an Aussie but had lived in France).

I neither speak nor understand French.

I sat there, feeling like a third wheel.

Sophie

I once went to the movies with a guy who bought popcorn and, during the movie, I went to get some popcorn from his bucket and he slapped my hand away and whispered to me that I should have bought my own.

Emma

A year after breaking up with me an ex reached out asking me out on a date as he would like to rekindle things.

He took me to Salsa’s in a Westfield food court, ordered FOR me (which I hate), then took a step backwards behind me so I was the one at the till when they asked for payment. (Being young and feeling incredibly awkward, I paid!)

When our meal was called he picked up his Nachos and left!

Best part is, he couldn’t understand why I said no when he text me later to ask if I’d like to go on a second date. To this day, I find it hilarious that he thought this was going to ‘win me back’ HA!

Alice*

A few years ago I went on two dates with a guy around Christmas time. Both dates went well. NYE was coming and we both had no solid plans so decide to go to a bar together that night.

We met at my place and walked to the bar. He kept bringing me drinks and shots and every time I went to get a round he would tell me it’s his treat.

Bar staff came to our table saying our tab was now at $200 and we had to pay now. He then told me he forgot his pin number. I footed the bill. We continued with the night and I was cutting up the dance floor and turned around and he was gone. I saw him on the street later that night and he looked at me and walked straight past me.

He then rocked up at my house at 3am trying to get in. There was no fourth date.

Tara

I had a guy ask me to meet him after his Quidditch game.

He told me the start time, not the end, and then spent the whole ‘match’ grandstanding for my benefit.

Following the match, he made me walk 3km in heels to his favourite cafe, where he talked about himself the WHOLE time then only paid for his own coffee (I don’t mind going halves, but didn’t even offer!).

Then while walking me back to my car, he told me he’d asked me out because he has a fetish for tall redheads kicking him in the balls.

Needless to say, I was less than impressed (understatement).

*Some names have been changed. The photos used in our feature image are all stock imaged sourced from Getty.

00:00 / ???