I was so young. I had no idea.
I got married when I was 21. Lots of people told me I was too young.
Well, I wasn’t too young to choose a life partner, because we’re still together, 23 years later. But I was too young to plan a wedding.
I’m sure a lot of 21 year olds would do a great job of it, but I stuffed it up, in so many ways.
At least, I think I did. You see, I can’t watch it back to check, because…
Mistake number 1: I banned cameras and video cameras from the ceremony.
I’d been to a cousin’s wedding and seen a gum-chewing cameraman clomp around the altar, distracting everyone, so I decided I didn’t want anything like that happening on my big day.
What was I thinking? I have no record of the actual wedding ceremony. I’ve been regretting it for the last 22 years and 11 months.
Mistake number 2: I got married in a church.
It was a nice church, but I’m an atheist, so that’s just a bit weird. I did it to make my parents happy, because that’s the kind of thing I did when I was 21.
If I’d been a few years older, I would’ve got married somewhere that suited my personality more, like on the rooftop of a pub, or the swings in a children’s playground.
Mistake number 3: Puffy sleeves.
Okay, it was South Australia, in the early 1990s, so puffy sleeves were probably on trend. But I look at the dress and it’s just not me. It’s what I thought a wedding dress was supposed to look like.
I really wish I’d worn something slinky in black or purple or red, something that was more individual and maybe not quite so… puffy.
Mistake number 4: I made my younger sister wear a salmon pink bridesmaid's dress.
With puffy sleeves. I am so, so sorry.
Mistake number 5: I only had one bridesmaid because I thought anything more would be over-the-top.
Slap around the head to my 21-year-old self! Weddings are supposed to be over-the-top! My husband's little cousin asked if she could be the flower girl and I said no. Sorry. You would have been adorable.
I briefly considered having our dog as the ring bearer but didn't. Big, big regret.
Mistake number 6: The celebrant had never performed a wedding before, so he was extremely nervous.