Jerry Seinfeld said it best: “Nobody wants to go to your wedding!”
That was in 2002, almost 20 years before COVID-19 turned ‘Wedding Attendance’ into news headlines.
The sentiment couldn’t be more relevant today. Especially when those weddings still going ahead are causing some guests to feel apprehensive about drinking, dancing (and drunk dancing) in larger groups. And who needs anxious vibes at a wedding? Nobody. Nobody wants anxious vibes at your wedding!
Watch: Things people never say at weddings. Post continues below.
That’s why 'micro weddings' are such a good remedy. You get the intimate soirée you’ve secretly been wishing for and your very nearest and dearest feel secure in the knowledge that your distant cousin Desmond (the one who frequents Muscle Magic Gym eight times a week) won’t be coughing all over their canapes.
So, who makes the cut? I know, you don’t want to make Cheryl from accounts cry when you withdraw her invitation. Nobody wants to make Cheryl from accounts cry.
Luckily, there are only about 10 people who genuinely want to come to your wedding. I’ve listed them below for your convenience.
1 & 2. Your parents.
They paid for the venue hire after all. They’re also busting to say something like, “Now that you two are married, you might consider moving out of our second bedroom?” during their speech.
3. Aunty Joan.
Aunty Joan bought a new dress as soon as she received your ‘Save the Date’ in December 2019. She’d really like to wear that dress. And the matching purse she purchased on Catch.com last week. Aunty Joan also has a new iPad she’s keen to take for a spin.
Hopefully, her iPad cover will arrive in time. It’s lime green (to match her outfit) and won’t ruin your wedding photos at all.