We need to talk about wedding gifts.
If you invite someone to your wedding, and you provide a ‘gift wish list’, do you then have the right to change your mind (after you’ve been given a gift) and ask your guest to return the gift in exchange for money?
A woman, identified only as SaveBandit on a UK parenting forum Mumsnet, recently attended a wedding of one of her husband’s colleagues. And naturally, they purchased a gift from the wish list the couple had provided.
But when they arrived at the wedding, they were the only guests who had actually bought a gift.
Despite feeling incredibly awkward about their gift, the pair decided to ignore it and enjoy the ceremony, completely unaware of just how uncomfortable the situation was about to become.
A few days after the wedding, SaveBandit posted on Mumsnet, explaining that her husband had received a message from the groom.
“Thanks for coming on Saturday and for the gift. We had a bit of a last-minute change and decided to ask for money towards the honeymoon instead of what we’d put on the gift list. Can we arrange to send it back and just get the money for it instead? I can pass it back next week when I’m back in work. Really appreciate the thought but definitely think we need a holiday after the stress of wedding planning,” the message read.
“Should we just return it and leave it at that or does anyone have any choice words or phrases we can reply with?!” the woman asked Mumsnet users.
Can you ever ask guests for a certain amount in a wishing well? The Out Loud crew discuss. Post continues after audio…
She was inundated with responses from fellow users, with a lot of people agreeing that the groom’s request was inappropriate.
“You spent £70 ($126) on a work friend and he’s actually complaining! It’s out of order and really poor form to ask you to return a gift… I don’t know what he should do but I think I would return it and give them less money” one person suggested.
While another wrote “I would agree to it but keep him waiting for the cash… Then give them the money after the honeymoon,”
Although the request was referred to as ‘utterly-vile’ and ‘jaw-dropping’, the majority of responses suggested the couple should just return the gift and give the newlyweds the money as requested.