“Rejected wedding dress seeks lasting love and holy matrimony.” I’m already crying…
In a timely reminder that inanimate objects have feelings too, a jilted wedding dress has penned her own heartbreaking eBay description.
The beautiful Diane von Furstenberg dress was meant to float down the aisle at New York City Hall, complemented by a bouquet of Lily of the Valley and a glowing young bride.
But she never got the chance.
“When my owner put on a dress just like me in Selfridges, she knew I was the one so she ordered me online and had me delivered to her husband-to-be in Brooklyn,” the description reads. “When I arrived, she kept me sealed in my box so nothing could ruin me.”
Unfortunately things didn’t work out with husband-to-be, and the big day was called off.
“Then they split up,” the dress writes. “And she kept me in the box. Because she couldn’t bear to look at me.
“I am a constant reminder to her of what could have been. So she wants to sell me.”
You’re breaking my heart, little dress. You’re breaking my heart.
Happily, a new owner was eventually found for the dress and bride-to-be-but-wasn’t ended up with an extra 1,150 pounds to help mend her broken heart.
If you ask me, they’re both better off without that asshole.
The listing can be read in all its heart-wrenching glory below:
I was supposed to be worn at City Hall in New York.
I was going to be the main attraction of a 60s wedding theme.
I was going to be low-key, but elegant (I still am, for that matter).
I was going to complement a 60s updo, nude courts and a bouquet of Lily of the Valley.
When my owner put on a dress just like me in Selfridges, she knew I was the one so she ordered me online and had me delivered to her husband-to-be in Brooklyn.
I’m not over the top, nor am I too dressed down, and she thought she could perhaps wear me to other occasions in the future.
She thought I was a dress she could look back on and smile, not cringe at fashion faux pas (she was right).
When I arrived, she kept me sealed in my box so nothing could ruin me.
Then they split up.
And she kept me in the box.
Because she couldn’t bear to look at me.
I am a constant reminder to her of what could have been.
So she wants to sell me.
Not necessarily to a bride, but to anyone looking to give me the home I deserve.
A home where I’ll get worn and admired and dry-cleaned (as and when necessary).
She can’t take me back to DVF because they no longer stock me.
I’m limited edition, if you like.
And the first time I have been taken out of my box is for these photos.
Because who’s going to buy a dress based on a picture of a box?
I can’t wait to be worn by you (and to see the back of my cardboard confines once and for all).
Zarita (in Ivory).
More wedding dress stories from Mamamia: