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There's a new website that will draft perfect emails for you.

The future is now.

A (fairly creepy) website has been created that uses digital footprints and character algorithms to determine the perfect way to communicate with a fellow human.

Because that’s obviously the best way to learn how to communicate with another human. By asking a computer.

For all we know, Crystal could be a cat with a mouse.

Crystal (which is the name of the website, although makes us think of a useful woman who has all the answers for your email-composing problems) will search the Internet for all the information on your chosen recipient, from their social media accounts to any word that was ever written about them, and use it to match them to one of 64 personality types.

According to a review on wired.com, Crystal will then give hints on how to address that person (i.e. ‘project boldness and confidence’) and the best phrases to use when composing an email.

The kind of information Crystal gives, according to Wired.com

What’s more, the service will offer templates for entire emails for that particular recipient, based on their characteristic algorithm. They may be the type who likes a personal, warm touch (‘Hi Jane, how are your kids?…’) or straight to the point (‘Jane, I have a problem’).

Hmmmm. It’s a bit stalker-y. And the Internet-trawling will probably a bit inaccurate if you have a common name like John Smith, or if you happen to also be called Beyoncé Knowles.

Hilarious read: Everday people living with famous names.

Does Crystal know our preferences on memes? Or quotes of the day? Does Crystal know that some days, we just want someone to email us and tell us what a good job we’ve done, or that our holiday leave has been approved, or that someone in the office is bringing in a cake tomorrow?

Probably not. Crystal doesn’t really know us. Right?


ARE YOU LISTENING, CRYSTAL?

Would you find Crystal handy in drafting emails – or are you just going to search for yourself (be honest…)?

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