“We” are NEVER pregnant.
Announcing a pregnancy is super exciting news for anyone – and doubly so for a couple who have been struggling with fertility.
For a dad-to-be it’s a thrilling, deeply personal joyful time. Your future is laid about before you. You’re becoming a family. You are going to be a father. You are going to go through experiences you could never imagine.
But what you AREN’T going to be is pregnant.
Do you think someone needs to tell John Legend that? You see just two days ago he and his wife, supermodel Chrissy Teigen announced their delightful news on Instagram.
The 29-year old supermodel wrote: “John and I are so happy to announce that we are pregnant :) As many of you know, we’ve been trying to have a baby for a while now. It hasn’t been easy, but we kept trying because we can’t wait to bring our first child into the world and grow our family. We’re so excited that it’s finally happening. Thank you for all your love and well wishes. I look forward to all the belly touching!”
Super-successful crooner hubby following it up with one simple sentence.
Yes, wonderful, lovely, exiting delightful.
But no. No no no no no no no no.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but I am pretty sure that is still a thing of the future (and very bad Arnold Swarzenegger movies).
I mean if it was possible I couldn’t imagine two lovelier celebrities to be the first to undergo it. Can’t you just envisage the two of them hand in hand both in labor with John serenading Chrissy through his screams.
My head’s under water But I’m breathing fine. You’re crazy and I’m out of my mind.
(And can I just say what perfect labouring lyrics he has already.)
But he might just have to take a supporting role in this performance because there is only one person going to have that baby, and it isn’t John.
Look I am not throwing shade on their happy news, but the idea that once a couple unite in parenthood, they become one single entity swelling and bulging and waddling, together growing a baby is just ridiculous.
In the world of celebrity couples, these two are great, they are raw and funny and sweet and loving.
But THEY are not pregnant.
Chrissy is pregnant. Chrissy is gloriously, nauseatingly, life-changingly pregnant. John Legend is about to have his life changed too, but when it comes to being pregnant, he is just along for the ride.
He’s a sidekick, a supporting act, an accompaniment. He’s the caramelized onion to her Wagu beef. The hand-cut chunky fries, not the hapuku.
There are no plurals in pregnancy (unless it’s twins).
Oh, I don’t doubt the intent behind the sentiment – the good meaning, the wish for a shared experience. But implicit in the use of the word we is that the male partner in the pregnancy goes through the same as the one who is actually pregnant.