I think most of us can agree that when it comes to representing women as autonomous, empowered, diverse and multifaceted human beings, mainstream pornography isn’t doing us any favours.
While both men and women consume porn in huge numbers, and many people from both genders enjoy it, a great deal of the porn that exists on the Internet sets a precedent for demeaning, objectifying, dominating and sometimes even abusing women. Personally, it irks me that the same men whom I interact with daily are also regularly watching material that represents women as nothing more than sexual play things; as objects to act upon in order to achieve sexual pleasure.
The fact that it makes me profoundly uncomfortable means I try my best not to think about it. But the latest trend in pornography makes this particularly difficult, because some men are watching it in public, in conspicuous view of the women around them. And at the very least, it feels creepy to those witnessing it.
On a recent episode of the BBC podcast Woman’s Hour, producer Siobhann Tighe discussed her experience of seeing a man watch porn on a London bus. She said she felt “uncomfortable and annoyed,” and had a million questions for a person who would think it was appropriate to watch porn in public. But ultimately, Tighe said, she was offended.
Listen to Mamamia’s podcast The Prude and The Pornstar, where two very different women discuss sex, relationships, and pornography. Post continues after audio.
After the episode aired, many women shared similar stories. On mumsnet, a conversation about the topic offered a disturbing number of examples of the same behaviour.
“When I was a flight attendant I’d often catch people on their laptops during night flights watching porn,” read one comment. “Unbelievable. Usually business class passengers as well.”
Women said they’d seen men watching porn in hospital beds and restaurants, and when I asked my colleagues, they said they’d seen it happen on trains, at (previous) workplaces, and in a university library.
Months ago, a friend told me she was waiting in line at the airport when she noticed two men in front of her watching a particularly vulgar video. She confronted them and asked them to turn it off, and was met with laughter and the accusation that she was a ‘prude.’ They ignored her and made her feel silly for even noticing.
Top Comments
I don't know that this issue is even just about men consuming porn- I feel that it is just part of a larger problem of "do-what-I-want"ism that is sadly part of our social system now. People yelling obscenities at their children in Kmart. Men touching womens' breasts in bars. People just generally being obnoxious bogans and getting away with it. I don't have the answers but it is something we as a society need to address.
Next time any of us see a boy (they're obviously not men) watching porn in public, try asking him if he has to start watching it before he gets home because that's how long it takes for him to get an erection. That should stop him in his tracks.