If you’ve ever wondered why women have absurdly large handbags, it’s because it’s where they hide all their secrets.
And if men knew the extent of it they’d likely be horrified.
One of the biggest deceptions ever pulled off in history is that men appear to believe they are grosser than us.
Oh honey, no.
Ask a woman the last time she washed her bra and then watch her lie as she says "Oh... two days ago?"
This week, women shared their very private, very important secrets in a Reddit thread that has since gone viral. Here are some of the best.
"Some women get blood clots during our periods and it feels like we're giving birth to a jellyfish"
Men, you've likely been looking a woman in the eye as she's passed a blood clot and you had absolutely no idea.
It DOES feel like a jellyfish, and sort of just sits in your pad until you... remove it. It's... a lot.
Sometimes when you sneeze a jellyfish pops out, and that is why sometimes we look shocked/concerned and then excuse ourselves.
"'Is there anything on my butt' is code for 'Has my period leaked?'"
Pretty much every woman have asked a friend: "Check me?"
The other secret behaviour is standing up and having a quick squiz at the seat to ensure you haven't leaked or as I call it 'inked'. Like an octopus. On someone else's furniture.
"I lift my boobs up so I feel like I can breathe without the weight of them"
Other women rest their boobs on tables to experience what it might be like if they weren't always just sitting there like ridiculous sandbags.
"If you have sex without a condom, we need a good few minutes after to let everything ~drain~ out of us. I always tell my boyfriend 'brb gotta go ooze!' because I love seeing the cringe"
Everything that goes up must come down.
Also, women need to go pee after sex because we've been told since we were three months old that if we don't we'll get a UTI. And we've learned that's true the hard way.
One Reddit user wrote, "... Just how frequent it was [as a teenager] to go to the bathroom and suddenly your underwear was so soaked it was insane.. And it could dry on them and make 'em crusty, it could get bad enough that the underwear could get holes in them if they go long enough without being washed. Sorry for the grossness, tween girls can be unsanitary too lol."
Well. She used the word 'crusty'. So there's that.
Discharge is something many men have no idea about, even though it's happening to women ALL THE TIME.
"We pretend to readjust our bra but really we're just scratching our nipples..."
"Every so often, something itches. Is it a yeast infection? Is it a bacterial infection? Is your pubic hair growing back in? Is it dryness? Is it irritation? Did something get stuck in your underwear?"
Most often, everything is fine. But in the meantime, you're stuck squirming in your seat trying to make it stop without anyone noticing.
"Sometimes the wings on your pad get stuck to your pubes"
This is... my own addition.
Men will never know the feeling of walking down the street and discovering a pad-wing has flipped up and grabbed onto a stray hair. You then spend the next 10 minutes weirdly cocking a leg trying to pull it free, until eventually you just think "f*ck it" and readjust your underpants. Explicitly.
Are there any secrets we missed? Tell us below in the comments!
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