Kourtney Kardashian's 'fake' pregnancy reveal and the pinnacle of announcement culture.

It's 13 years since Kourtney Kardashian gave birth to her first child on television. 

The world lost its mind just a little when she – the oldest, and apparently most private of the three original sisters – reached down and pulled son Mason out of her birth canal and into the middle of the 2009 Keeping Up With The Kardashians season finale.  

At the time, we wondered if we'd really seen it all. But that was before MAFS and now we've seen a man rinse his "wife's" toothbrush in the toilet. So.

The world had no way of knowing that more than a decade later, we'd be watching Kourtney Kardashian announce another pregnancy by holding up a sign in a full stadium at an LA Blink-182 concert. For a start, the culture might have asked, what, Blink-182 are still a thing?

Yes, they are, friends, and the father of Kourtney's baby, husband Travis Barker, is their drummer, as well as a popular and successful music producer. Keep up. 

Travis, I'm Pregnant, read the low-fi cardboard sign that Kourtney waved in the air on camera, and appropriately, it stopped the concert, security guided Travis offstage, and he climbed down into the celebrity mosh pit and embraced his wife. 

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Bulls**t, the world is yelling, he already knew. 

Of course he did. The pair have been trying IVF, which I am aware of against my will, and Kardashian is delightedly visibly, glowingly, roundly pregnant. This is not new news to anyone in her orbit, and given that Kravis (as they are collectively called) is the most PDA-prone couple on Instagram, it's safe to assume he was across it. 

The announcement – a carefully-considered throwback to the video for B-182's hey-day smash All The Small Things – wasn't for Travis, it was for us. And if you're going to be pissy enough to complain about that, I can't help you.

Because Kardashian baby announcements are big business. 

Since Kourtney pulled little Mason Disick out of herself back in 2009, there have been 11 more babies born to the Kardashian family. Every one of them a special little ray of sunshine, and every one an excellent engagement opportunity. Because nothing is better for business than a baby. 

Or rather, a baby announcement. Babies themselves remain stubbornly bad for business, what with all the time-sucking demands raising a new human makes on a content creator. 

Listen to this episode of The Spill. Post continues after podcast.

Before you accuse me of being cynical, raise your hand if you yourself have never taken a quiet thrill in watching the Likes roll in on your Facebook or Insta feed when you have something big to tell your family and friends. A new job. You're moving in! You got a puppy. You're engaged. You graduated. 

Click-click-Like. Love heart, love heart, fire emoji, strong arm, click-click. 

We all like news. We all like progress. And no one more than the algorithms we live by. They feed the content-hungry beast of social media when there's nothing much else to say.

It's called announcement culture, and we all live in it. 

Maybe the comments and clicks just make you feel special, loved, connected. 

Or maybe, if you have something to sell, that engagement can make or break a project. 

Kourtney Kardashian has enough money. So do her sisters, so does her mum. But they're a business, individually and collectively, and their primary product is themselves, so keeping the storyline moving along is essential to keeping the interest high and the wheels of the industry turning. 

Watch the moment on Keeping Up With The Kardashians where Kris Jenner thought she was pregnant. Post continues after video.

There may have been 12 babies born into the family over the past 13 years, but there have been 26 businesses launched under the Kardashian umbrella during that time. From Kim's mega undies brand SKIMS to Kourtney's Goop-esque Poosh to Khloe's Good American clothing brand and Kendall's tequila 818, every daughter has a business to spruik and push (Kylie, arguably, has the least amount of reason to tell anyone anything ever, having sold 51 per cent of her make-up brand to Coty for a reported $600million in 2019). 

The empire attracts its fair share of criticism and scrutiny, which, generally, the family business weathers the storms like the hardened pros they are. 

Whether it's Khloe's on-off partner Tristan Thompson's infidelities, Kim's divorce from a now almost untouchable Kanye West, Kendall's tone-deaf involvement in a Black Lives Matter (checks notes) Pepsi ad or Kylie's predilection for too many private jets. Even the least-famous and favoured child, hapless Rob Kardashian, gives Kris the occasional PR headache with the multitude of lawsuits his ex, Blac Chyna, has levelled at the family. 

But baby news is good news. 

For civilians and Kardashians alike, a creative announcement of new life is not troll-feed. It's hard to push back on joy. It's hard to poo-poo impending parenthood. Today, the world is happy for Kourtney and Travis, even if they feel slightly suspicious about the way they found out. He didn't know? Really? 

So the Kardashian PR machine will keep pumping to keep up with demand. And the offspring announcement strategy will keep on rolling alongside it. But, as announcement culture dictates, watch closely as a new batch of happy personal news is followed by something new to buy, wear or watch.

After all, millions of tickets to the Blink-182 world tour aren’t going to sell themselves, are they?

Image: Mamamia + Instagram.