Trigger Warning: This post deals with rape and sexual assault.
As many of you are aware, my article “Was It Rape?” was published on Mamamia and YouShare Project recently.
Both sites didn’t really change any of my wording, but if you would prefer to see the original post click here. The only real differences are the pictures and videos they used, and the ones that I did.
While I definitely expected to see a lot controversy surrounding the topic – as well as people weighing in on their judgement of was it or wasn’t it, I was deeply alarmed about the number of comments who either clearly didn’t read the post (like this guy):
Or people that missed the point entirely.
Despite the fact that I said multiple times that I felt the situation I was in, the one that I had written about, was not rape, and I had never considered it as such, I did expect people to give their opinions regardless.
Yes… apparently sleeping in a bed with someone else and kissing = implied consent. I should just expect to be groped whenever.
I expected others – and I quote (directly from my own article) – to have the reaction that I am “a pathetic woman crying rape because she wasn’t strong enough to say no”.
I definitely received both reactions, which I expected, and neither bothered me because I wasn’t trying to say I was raped. I wasn’t looking for justice, revenge, validation, support or sympathy.
I expected that some would show support and condemn the man and say that I was raped – and many people did.
I was trying to highlight the epidemic of rape culture and the victim-blaming and shaming that goes so frequently with it. I was also trying to bring to light the idea that so many women do ask if they were raped. There are so many people that are unsure if it counts, or blame themselves for what transpired.
If only I hadn’t been wearing such a short dress.
If only I wasn’t drunk.
But he’s my friend …
But he’s my boyfriend …
But men can’t get raped …