kids

ANONYMUM: 'I lied to my girlfriends today. I lied to them so I could get out of seeing them.'

Welcome to a new Mamamia series in which mothers anonymously confess to some of the aspects of parenting they can’t say out loud. If you have an Anonymum story of your own (anonymity guaranteed) email it to us at: [email protected]

I lied to my girlfriends today. I lied to them so I could get out of seeing them next week.

Don’t get me wrong, I love them to bits. I mean, I’ve known them since Alanis was stuck with 10 thousand spoons when all she needed was a knife. But sometimes – well, most of the time these days – I’d rather stay at home with my kids.

Is it just me? Am I the only one who actually enjoys doing this? It sure feels like it.

Today, when my girlfriends were downing their glasses of rosé and cackling about their afternoon of childlessness, they excitedly began talking about “doing this AGAIN next week”.

Wait, what? Again? Next week? But we’re seeing each other now!

So, I stared them straight in the eyes, did my best expression of disappointment and blatantly lied: “ohhhhhhh nooooo! My youngest has a spring dance at his preschool that day.”

Yeah, I wanted to get out of seeing them so badly, I made up the existence of a preschool dance party!

Why would I lie to my Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte (or maybe it’s my Carrie, Miranda and Samantha)? Because I have no other choice. They don’t understand why I, a stay-at-home mum, would rather, stay at home, than hang out with them.

Believe me, I have tried to be honest. The idea is so preposterous, they shut me down, and it usually goes something like this:

“Spend time with your kids? Are you mad? But you’re with them allllll the time! Why the hell wouldn’t you want a boozey night out with us? No, sorry, you’re coming. Be ready by 6, we’ll pick you up.”

"This IS my real world. Poop and all. And I'm enjoying every minute of it." Image via Getty.
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And just like that my feelings are totally dismissed. I am the odd one out. The weird one.

But am I really? I just want to be with my family. Am I nuts, because I'd rather have conversations about Pokemon with my 7-year-old on a Saturday night than eat at the new Poké restaurant with my girlfriends? Am I crazy because I'd rather watch that episode of Raa Raa and the slippety slip banana skins for the millionth time with my little dude than go to the new Channing Tatum movie? And gadddd, WHO would want to be at home cleaning up wee or poop or god forbid, explosive diarrheoa when you could be OUT IN THE REAL WORLD having fun?

Well, me.

I would.

This IS my real world. Poop and all. And I'm enjoying every minute of it.

One of my friends recently went on a holiday to India with her husband for three weeks. She has a four month old baby who she left in Sydney with a nanny. They had the time of their lives. They do this pretty regularly and enjoy a fancy dinner without bub almost every night too. But I have zero desire to ever do this. And my husband is on the same page.

We can't imagine going on holidays without our little guys, even if it’s bloody exhausting. We can't imagine not having our babes with us at dinner, even if they yell things like “WHY DOESN’T MUMMY HAVE A DOODLE?” We talk about the places we want to take them and the things we want to show them all the time. Hawaii, the Greek Islands, Spain! We want to have the time of our lives too, but we want our kids to be a part of it.

Listen to Mamamia's podcast about the first year after having a baby: The Work Question. Post continues after audio.

Another friend asked her mother-in-law to babysit her kids on Mother's Day this year because it's "her day" and she wanted a break. From her kids. On Mother's Day. I will pass no judgement here. I understand everyone needs a break. Hers happened to be on the one day of the year dedicated to motherhood.

And the other one, well, she says she hears George Michael's Freedom song and imagines fireworks going off all around her every time she drops her kids off at school or a sleep-over or a music class. She often brings her kids to my place and uses the phrase "can I dump and run?"

*freeeeeeeedom!*

Is it just me? Am I the only one who actually WANTS to travel with my kids? And spend Mother's Day with them? Am I the only one who gets a little teary when I kiss them goodbye at school drop-off? Am I the only one who doesn't want to "dump and run"? Am I the only one who enjoys their company?

It's not like I don't go out at all. I just don't want to go out every single week, like we used to. I mean, really, times have changed since Alanis had her 10 thousand spoons. We have changed and we have new important little people in our lives.

Seriously, give me Pokemon, Raa Raa and explosive baby poo any day.

When did wanting to be with your family become so, unthinkable?

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