When it comes to doing the deed, every couple is different.
While some are content to live in sin, and even insist on ‘trying before buying’, others prefer the more traditional route. One that requires superhuman levels of self-control and imagination.
And because we all love a good perv into the sex lives of others, the women of Reddit have shared exactly what it’s like when couples finally seal the deal on their wedding nights.
The verdict? Let’s just say the word ‘romantic’ didn’t really come up.
When you think about the sexual tension that builds at the beginning of a new relationship, it’s easy to see how one could get a little over excited when the big moment finally arrives after waiting, oh I don’t know, one’s entire life.
“He didn’t even make it fully inside me before blowing his load,” wrote one such user. “After 15-20 minutes we were right back at it and had better success.”
The 'premature donation'
Another user shared a similar problem, but took it a step further.
"My husband and I were both virgins when we got married," she wrote. "We finally lost the V-card three days after the wedding."
"On our wedding night, he couldn't get the right angle to get in and had a 'premature detonation'. I was too shy to help guide him in."
"He said "S***! I'm so sorry!" and then we went to sleep."
Despite the rocket launching ahead of schedule, this couple's story is a great example of not taking yourself too seriously in the bedroom.
"I think we're both rather easy going and found it rather funny," she continued. "It helped that neither of us had high expectations that it was going to be magic the first few (50) times. We still tease each other about it now."
Listen: Osher Gunsberg talks spicing up your sex life on the Love Live podcast. (Post continues after audio).
The dry landing
What's worse than knowing everyone knows exactly what you're doing on your wedding night? Having to spell out exactly what you're doing to a loved one, this one user found out.
"It was ... fine," she said. "The most awkward part was that both of us forgot lube and texted the maid of honour, asking her to go to a store and get us some.
"The big problem that we have is that we were together for 4 years before we got married so we got really good at not having sex," she continued.
"Even after being married for a few years we sometimes seem to forget that it is just a thing we can do instead of watching old Futurama or Top Chef."
We've never heard truer words.
The downright disaster
And just when you thought bringing in a third party was as mortifying as 'first time wedding sex' could get, another user shared their tale of being walked in on... by complete strangers.
"My husband and I both waited until marriage, our first night was a complete disaster," she wrote.
"We actually got walked in on by strangers while we were stripping in our hotel room because the hotel switched our room last minute and forgot to give the other couple a different key."
"I spilled the entire bottle of lube in the middle of the bed. Although it was kind of a disaster we were able to laugh about it and we still had fun and look back fondly on the night."
Do you have a first time disaster story?