lifestyle

The new weight-loss trend that the Kardashians are obsessed with is krazy with a capital K.

Why would anyone willingly put themselves through this torture?

According to an ad that interrupted my morning Facebook scrolling, there’s a new weight-loss-tone-up-perfect-body-etc tool that we’re supposed to be torturing ourselves with now.

Kim Kardashian training her waist to be a waist.

‘Waist-training’.

The Kardashians are obsessed, so you know it’s krazy with a kapital K.

Waist-training involves wearing a tight corset (made from cotton, neoprene, latex, steel – anything from the Bondage Materials Store)  for 2-8 hours per day, during workouts, meals, and sometimes even overnight.

Supposedly, it will make you lose 2-4 inches off your waist permanently, because it will decrease hunger, increase core strength, encourage perspiration and improve posture.

If you use it in conjunction with a healthy diet and exercise, of course.

NO SHIT, SHERLOCK.

So when you’re wearing that restrictive garment, where is all the tummy fat going?

Some of it will go down and make your ass look a little bigger. Some will go up and give you a cute little fat roll under your boobs (it won’t go INTO your boobs, give that dream up). But mostly, it will go in, and push against your organs.

Khloe Kardashian, Amber Rose, waist-trainers and selfies.

“The main benefit of a waist trainer is that it compresses the waist and stomach region in order to surpress hunger” claims the Waist Trainer NZ website.

You know when you’re wearing a really tight bra? Or skirt? And it starts to cut into you a little bit, and soon your torso is so uncomfortable or your stomach is so compressed, you feel sick instead of hungry? That. That, but worse.

One of their target markets is time-poor women.

“Many of our customers are busy with long work hours, children or other commitments, resulting in a lack of time to exercise throughout the week, so have used a waist trainer as an alternative.”

But then, they suggest these time-poor customers should walk for 40 minutes a day, because “walking is a great way to burn fat and lose weight (better than running – running burns more energy than fat).”

I’m not an exercise scientist, but I definitely call a bit of bullshit in that last sentence, because running every day will prooooobably burn a bit of fat. And call me crazy, but if the time-poor customers walked 40 minutes a day without the waist-trainer, they’d still probably lose a couple of kilos, AND be able to breathe.

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The ad that popped up on my Facebook.

Not only is it going against science (it has recently been proven that majority of weight loss is actually breathed out as carbon dioxide, and if you can’t breathe deeply in the waist-trainer, then it’s working against you), it is actually a possible health risk.

Health professionals have warned of the risks of wearing a waist trainer, from restricting the lungs and diaphragm (if you wear it too tight, you can actually push the stomach past the diaphragm and cause reflux, which is not so sexy), to dehydration, back acne, and atrophy of the ab muscles.

Apparently, the atrophy-of-the-ab-muscles thing only happens if you don’t workout when you’re waist-training. What was that, logic? What did you just yell so loudly? Ah, yes: IF YOU WORK OUT ANYWAY, YOU WON’T NEED IT.

The improvement in posture seems to be the only real benefit. And wearing a corset under clothes will, no doubt, take an inch or two off your waist.

Amen, one of the Olsen twins.

But here’s the thing:

If you suck your stomach in for 8 hours straight, your stomach will look smaller.

If you tense your abs for 8 hours straight, your abs will get tighter.

If you increase your perspiration in your waist for 8 hours straight, you will be thinner (because you’re dehydrated).

If you stand up taller for 8 hours straight, your posture will improve.

If you eat less food and work out more, you will lose weight.

And you can do all of that with brain power, not $100 worth of latex and buckles.

A general rule that I’m just going to toss out there is this: Any ‘weight-loss’ product that claims it works ‘in conjunction with diet and exercise’ is as useful as a bald man’s hairbrush. It ain’t the product doing the slimmin’. It’s the diet and exercise.

It won’t happen overnight. And it won’t happen because you put yourself through hours of constricted torture. If you want to look like a Kardashian, do what the Kardashians do.

Hire a full-time chef, a personal trainer, a hair and make-up artist and good lighting. You’ll lose 2-4 inches off your waist immediately.

Exactly.

Would you use one of these torture devices?

For more on ‘exercise’ methods…

Qantas has a video that shows you how to exercise on a plane. And it’s f*cking weird.

11 things no one ever tells you about exercise.

One of the biggest excuses not to exercise. Sorted.

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