'I couldn't work or go to the doctor.' The form of coercive control we need to talk about.

The following post discusses domestic abuse and might be triggering for some readers.

By now, many of us are familiar with the severe and widespread problem of family violence in this country. 

We know how difficult it can be to seek help, or to exit a violent relationship - and sadly, we know how often (and how quickly) family violence can become fatal.  

Imagine though, that you’ve come to Australia to be with the man of your dreams; promised a wonderful new life and an abundance of opportunities for you and maybe your children. But before long, your relationship turns violent. 

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You’re thousands of miles from your family, you can’t work, you can’t receive Centrelink or Medicare and English isn’t your first language - or you can’t speak it at all.  

Unfortunately, as CEO for inTouch Multicultural Centre Against Family Violence, I come across this situation all the time. inTouch works closely with migrant and refugee women who are experiencing family violence and helps them to access support through a holistic process that includes social work, legal and migration assistance, victims of crime applications and our post-recovery initiative, inSpire.  

A large portion of the women we work with are on temporary student, working or partner visas, which can be granted by the Australian government here or before the woman leaves her home country. 

Many of these women will also have Australian-born children.  

Aish, a member of inTouch’s Inspire for Change victim-survivor advisory group, was on a temporary visa when she experienced family violence. 

Her husband used her migration status as a form of power, to control every aspect of her life.

Image: Supplied. 

“I felt trapped, first on a tourist visa and then a temporary spousal visa,” Aish says. 

“My husband told me that I couldn't work, get a Medicare card or go see a doctor. Decisions about what I would wear, what I could eat, where I could go and who I could speak to were made without my consultation. I was forbidden from earning money of my own- every purchase in our lives was decided upon by my husband. He used my temporary visa as a tool to manipulate me. The outside world was portrayed to me as a dangerous place.” 

Aish’s experience with her partner falls into a category of behaviour commonly referred to as coercive control. 

It’s a pattern whereby one person in the relationship (usually a male) uses emotional and psychological manipulation to control and diminish the freedom of the other – most commonly through threats, coercion, intimidation, emotional abuse, humiliation, stalking and surveillance. 

A perpetrator of violence will often use their partner’s migration status (and subsequently, her total dependence on him) as an additional instrument of violence and control, taking advantage of the power imbalance that exists when the perpetrator is an Australian resident or citizen, and his partner isn’t.  

“He would say ‘you can't do this, and you can't do that because if something were to happen to you, I am responsible for you because I have sponsored you,’” Aish says. 

“It was degrading, having someone with that much control over your life, especially when he tells you all the time that it is only because of him that you can stay in Australia. If you’re new to the country and you don’t have any other social connections or information, you completely rely on him and what he tells you.” 

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“Complete reliance” is probably one of the key ideas to take from this. 

If you’re experiencing family violence and you’re on a temporary visa, you have no access to support services other women in similar situations may be able to seek help from, and your social circle is most likely severely limited. 

After their experience with a violent relationship, a large portion of inTouch’s clients have no income, no community connection and no place to stay, which adds additional layers of complexity to exiting a violent relationship. 

Another layer often comes in the form of cultural expectation. Returning to your home country after a marriage breakdown can result in a woman being ostracised by her family, her partner’s family or her community.  

In any case, finding a clear path to safety can feel impossible for women like Aish. 

There are some special provisions available through Australia’s migration regulations but there are a lot of hurdles for the victim-survivor. They must prove that their relationship was genuine, that family violence occurred, and that it occurred during the relationship. 

Sometimes this proof is difficult as she may not have told anyone because of the shame, and then left the relationship quickly without taking the necessary evidence. 

Other times it can hinge on whether or not the police were involved at some point during the violence- something which often doesn’t occur because the woman is frightened to call the police due to the perceived threat of deportation, fear of the police due to past experiences in her home country, or simply because her English skills aren’t sufficient enough to know how to deal with the police. 

That’s a common experience that many victim-survivors struggle with regardless of their cultural backgrounds. Even if these special provisions are accessible, Australia’s law and migration systems can be nearly impossible to navigate without qualified assistance

So, all of that said, what systems and processes can we put in place to keep women like Aish safe and protected?  

Everyone has the right to safety and unrestricted access to support services if they’re experiencing family violence. Temporary visa holders should be no different.  

inTouch has been advocating for a special visa for women in a legitimate relationship and experiencing family violence for some time. 

A bridging visa of up to three years with full access to working rights, healthcare, housing and support services would unquestionably save lives. 

Coupled with this, there needs to be faster processing times around the special family violence provisions (as mentioned earlier) and residency applications for women experiencing family violence.  

We, as a country, also need to make sure that our prevention and response services are available to everyone and are suitable for everyone. 

There needs to be better access to social security rights, housing options and services, free legal assistance, and other urgent supports such as counselling and health care, making sure that we pay special attention also to women living in rural and regional areas.  

Finally, we must understand that family violence happens in every culture and community. 

It is a global issue and must be addressed with inclusivity and diversity at the forefront of prevention, crisis and recovery. 

It’s critical that different languages and cultural understanding are a part of the response- helping women to understand abuse and navigate Australian laws and processes.  

“The fact that my Case Manager at inTouch understood my culture meant I could begin to trust her and open up,” Aish explains. 

“And she understood that any action I took could disappoint my family. Peeling back my beliefs, she would say, ‘Yes that is culture, but it’s still not ok’, ‘Yes that is culture, but it’s still abuse.’” 

When we empower women to seek help, we give them the tools they need to heal, rebuild and thrive. 

As Aish says, “A story from the Bible often comes to mind when I think about my journey and that of other women with similar experiences. It discusses how gold is refined by a goldsmith through exposure to immense heat and pressure as it is worked to take its new shape. I like to think that this is the process I am going through – when we support women who have experienced family violence, it’s like refining gold, shining it little by little as women build their new lives. In this way I feel I am slowly being refined, buffed and shaped. The process is hard, but the end result will be beautiful.” 

Michal Morris is the CEO of inTouch Multicultural Centre Against Family Violence. inTouch are currently running an EOFY fundraiser for its victim/survivor recovery program, inSpire, which helps migrant and refugee women to rebuild their lives and community connection post crisis.  Find out more here.  

If this post brings up any issues for you, or if you just feel like you need to speak to someone, please call 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) – the national sexual assault, domestic and family violence counselling service. It doesn’t matter where you live, they will take your call and, if need be, refer you to a service closer to home. 

You can also call safe steps 24/7 Family Violence Response Line on 1800 015 188 or visit www.safesteps.org.au for further information.

Feature Image: Supplied.