sex

'I wanted him to watch me with two guys.' In lockdown, Dee and Dave joined a virtual sex party.

Dee and Dave* had been married for 20 years when lockdown hit in March 2020. 

It was an at-home date night, when Dee confessed her deepest sexual fantasies to Dave, that eventually led to them joining the world’s first social media community for sex.

Watch: How to have better sex. Post continues below.


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“I first heard about a Killing Kittens sex party event in Glasgow, a few years ago,” UK-based Dee tells Mamamia.

“I thought it sounded exciting but I wasn’t brave enough to mention to my husband that I really wanted to go at the time.

“We've since had a wedding, a child, more than one house, busy working lives and as the UK government lockdown started, I found myself thinking about regrets.”

Dee was just shy of her 19th birthday when she met Dave, the love of her life and now husband. 

“He's my Prince Charming! He whisked me off my feet, lavishing me with fine dining, holidays and beautiful baubles and I've been completely smitten since. 

“During the first lockdown and at 39 years old, I found myself wondering what it would have been like to have been a bit more sexually adventurous. I have never experienced a one-night stand, or given any other man a blow job.”

To give them something to look forward to, Dave and Dee locked in a weekly date night every Saturday. 

“We decided that once our munchkin was tucked up in bed we would get dressed up as if we were going out. We treated ourselves to cocktails and nibbles, put on our favourite music and would dance like we did years ago, and talk like we hadn’t talked for some time.

“We have always had a good sex life together; we do seem to fit each other perfectly, but I finally admitted I was curious about watching live sex with him and others. I told him I wanted to make love with him in a room where other people would watch us. That I had also fantasised about being spit-roasted and having group sex. Dave admitted he had been thinking about some of these things too.”

Even just talking about their fantasies and dreams lead to some amazing sex during lockdown.

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“We kept each other up until the sun came up, had lots of sex in the shower, outdoors, and even tried a kitchen implement or two before we invested in a proper sex toy box. I told Dave about ‘Killing Kittens’ and we googled it.

“The fact that Killing Kittens required membership was a little bit daunting so we initially tried some free ‘swingers’ groups. We met some people virtually and while some were nice, we soon realised that there is an element of safety when proper membership is required. 

“Everyone on Killing Kittens is vetted and has to be as authentic as they say they are, so we decided to sign up for an initial six months.”

From there, the couple started exploring the new sexy app chatroom, so that they could meet people and get to know more about the community they were joining.

“We started off in a space designed for those totally new to ‘the lifestyle’, but we were quickly welcomed by friendly banter and challenges like ‘nudes for newbies’! It wasn’t long before we found ourselves sharing our own naked bodies with a bunch of complete strangers. 

“It was genuinely the best thing I had done in years. Before we joined, I hated the way I looked. I had gained weight and I thought I had lumps and bumps in all the wrong places but this made me feel beautiful.”

The couple also joined a number of different chat groups filled with other members who are available to listen to sex-based hang-ups and give advice based on their own experiences. 

“I have found people in Killing Kittens to be very non-judgemental. It’s actually a rule that everyone must be positive and there is no shaming allowed. There are also volunteer members who oversee and moderate the chats. 

“They kick anyone out who isn’t behaving themselves. For example, it’s against the rules to take screen grabs of any of the chats as you could lose your membership. That gives me real confidence that you can be yourself without shame or fear.” 

“There are more extreme chatrooms, which I have ventured into but I’ve realised I am not quite ready for more than a peek, just yet! Some of the chatrooms are regional too which is good for chatting to people who are closer to where you live.”

The couple signed up for their first virtual 'house party' as a wedding anniversary treat. Dee confesses that the thought of it was initially nerve racking. 

“At that point in the lockdown, children could stay with grandparents so we asked my mum to babysit and told her we wanted to celebrate alone. I bought myself a mini strapless dress with a pretty floral pattern. It’s gorgeous and it didn’t require underwear. It pushed up my boobs in just the right way!  

“I did my hair and make-up and put on my cameo mask, poured some drinks and waited for the party to start. 

When we arrived in the Zoom room we were greeted by the compere, who introduced herself and helped put our nerves at ease. There were about 100 people in the party altogether but we didn’t initially look for anyone we had met via our app chats as we were far too nervous!”

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When everyone had joined, the compere got the party started with some party games, and then introduced some pre-recorded erotic entertainment from some of the acts they have used at live events in the past. 

“This gave us time to relax and have our drinks and it got us really horny for the rest of the evening. As the entertainment went on, Dave began stroking my inner thigh and I was holding my hand over his crotch, feeling his cock stiffen. We started to kiss. When the entertainment had finished the compere switched to spotlighting the main screen on couples and single ladies playing and kissing, it was so hot! Before I knew it, I was down on my knees unbuttoning my husband’s jeans.

“Dave said that the spotlight was on us for a long time while I was giving him head so I guess I must have been doing something right, and we really grew in confidence from there, going further than I think either of us had dreamed of doing at our first remote party.

“We took short breaks to have a drink and see what else was going on - it was a very enjoyable evening. I orgasmed again and again that night. I have orgasmed so much since we joined Killing Kittens, all without meeting a single new person face-to-face. I can’t imagine how many orgasms I will have at my first live event!”

Since that first night, the couple have continued to grow their connections on the app, making genuine friends.

“We’ve shared a lot – from a photo of a cheeky nipple, my bum glistening after a shower, wet lips or a throbbing cock, all the way up to clips from our home movies. Dave likes to show off how I look from a POV-porno angle, especially when we’re both really horny, covered in sweat... I like being the star of the show!”  

Now that Dee and Dave are back at work, Dee says it can be difficult to find the time to go into the app and check messages, but that when she does it is a great escape from life’s challenges.

“It's a great way for me to forget about work when I really need to. It’s a great mindfulness tool – we’ve even started attending online workshops, which are brilliant, everything from learning about the best sex toys, to getting the art of talking dirty – and I mean really dirty – just right.”

After their online experiences, Dee says that once lockdown is over the couple want to travel to other cities and countries and have more sex – in real life. 

“I just keep hoping that we can get to a live event later in 2021. It would be a great way to mark my 40th birthday, and the ultimate graduation from our first steps on the app and the online parties.”

*Names have been changed for privacy reasons.

Feature Image: Getty. 

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