Why You React Exactly Like Your Mother (And How to Stop)

Have you ever thought to yourself, “Why am I reacting exactly like my mother right now?” In this episode of But Are You Happy, hosts Ashani Dante and Dr. Anastasia Hronis pull back the curtain on intergenerational trauma. We’re moving beyond the surface level to explore the "ghosts" in your DNA - the ones that make you react to a minor inconvenience like it’s a family-wide emergency. You'll also learn: - How trauma is physically passed down through your genes - Why the goal isn't to "delete" your difficult parts - How to determine if you grew up in a "military-grade" or "survival of the fittest" household - Ways to notice the patterns of intergenerational trauma to avoid repeating them Remember while Dr. Anastasia Hronis is a psychologist - this podcast isn’t a diagnostic tool, and the advice and ideas presented here should always take into account your personal medical history. If you or someone you know needs support, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636. Both services are available 24/7 for free, confidential mental health support. Timestamps: 00:15 – Defining Intergenerational Trauma 01:47 – How Trauma is Passed Down (Without Direct Experience) 02:04 – The Science: DNA, Genes, and Epigenetics 03:21 – Nature vs. Nurture in Traumatic Environments 04:56 – "We Don’t Talk About It": Common Family Patterns 05:33 – First-Generation Immigrant Experiences & Mental Health 06:55 – Attachment Trauma vs. Intergenerational Trauma 08:05 – The "Empty Chair" Exercise: Meeting Your Inner Critic 10:14 – Using "Parts Work" to Break Family Cycles 12:22 – Main Takeaways: How to Break Free