If she asks you to hold her veil while she pees? You do so. If she asks you to grab her another piece of wedding cake? You go get that cake. If she asks you to wear a pair of shoes you consider absolutely unsightly? You better damn well swallow your pride and do it.
Victoria Beckham has just learned this lesson the hard way.
Over the weekend the former Spice Girl attended the wedding of Eva Longoria, who seized the opportunity to wield her bridal powers over her famous pal and force her to do the truly unthinkable.
Ladies and gentlemen, behold: photographic proof of celebrated fashion designer Victoria Beckham wearing a pair of ugg boots:
It seems she was as shocked as any of us, but decided to be a good sport about it.
“I can’t believe she put me in Uggs!! You can’t say no to the bride!!!!” the 42-year-old wrote on Instagram. No, you can’t.
You have to wonder, though: what are the implications of this image? Will VB ever be invited to Paris Fashion Week again? Has she just sacrificed all her hard-earned fashun cred — or, worse even, her claim to the nickname ‘Posh’?
Watch: The worst/best wedding horror stories we’ve heard. (Post continues after video.)
Longoria seemed fairly chuffed with her achievement, sharing the same photo of the matching “morning after foot attire” and adding the hashtag “yes I got her to wear uggs”. Salt, meet wound.
When she wasn’t busy forcing her feet into the Aussie version of a slipper, Beckham did us mere mortals the kindness of sharing a glimpse into Longoria’s Mexico nuptials.
For instance, we know the bride wore white (cue shock and surprise), but we also learned the guests… well, let’s just say they took a ‘when in Mexico’ approach to celebration.
Congratulations @evalongoria The smartest,most beautiful woman I have ever met.I feel honored to call you my friend X Such a wonderful day filled with Love X We love Pepe so much!!! @davidbeckham #blessed #toomuchtequilla #omgmyfeethurt #inlovewithmexico ???????? A photo posted by Victoria Beckham (@victoriabeckham) on May 22, 2016 at 9:29am PDT
Beckham paid tribute to the Desperate Housewives star, calling her the “smartest, most beautiful woman I have ever met”, but it was all in the hashtags.
Hands up if you can relate to “#toomuchtequilla” and “#omgmyfeethurt”? That applies to pretty much every wedding ever.
Without a doubt, the best way to overcome the effects of tequila is with delicious Mexican food — something Beckham and celebrity hairdresser Ken Paves are clearly aware of.
Paves documented the duo’s “late night tacos” on his Instagram account, adding another piece of key VB intel: “Who said she can’t cook?”
Delightful. Remind us to invite Ms Beckham to our own future weddings, please.
Although she was there to celebrate her close friend, the mum of four also took a moment to profess her love for husband and “soul mate”, footballer David Beckham — silhouetted against a sunset, of course.
Full of love in Mexico ???? X feeling blessed,I love u baby ???????? @davidbeckham X #soulmate X VB A photo posted by Victoria Beckham (@victoriabeckham) on May 22, 2016 at 4:51pm PDT
Love. It’s grand.
If you’re married, who did you wield your bridal powers on?
Featured image: Getty.