By ROSIE WATERLAND
So it turns out everything you’ve ever been told about the vaginal orgasm is a big, fat unsatisfying lie. Also the g-spot doesn’t exist, your clitoris is a female penis and sex doesn’t have to be over as soon as the man ejaculates.
Don’t be frightened you guys, we’ll get through this together.
A new study in the latest issue of Clinical Anatomy has revealed that – shocker – women don’t actually just magically climax after being jack-hammered by their significant other’s peen. In fact, study authors Vincenzo and Giulia Puppo insist that any kind of vaginal orgasm without clitoral stimulation is a myth (a myth invented by lazy men who no doubt just wanted to thrust and nap):
“The vaginal orgasm does not exist… The only way women can orgasm is through stimulation of the female penis, or, the clitoris.”
So, basically, science has discovered that sex isn’t all about men. And only 45 years after we put humans on the moon!
Well done, science.
But, smug eye-rolling from me aside, this discovery really is probably better late then never, since some women are confused as shit about how they are supposed to be getting pleasured in bed.
And no freaking wonder – watch one sex scene in a movie and you’d be convinced that all it takes for a woman to climax is some kissing in the rain, followed by a few romantic thrusts. Watch one sex scene in a porn and you’d be convinced that all it takes for a woman to climax is to have a penis in her ear and a dildo up her bum (followed by a few romantic thrusts).
Can we really blame everybody for thinking that all it takes for a woman to scream in pleasure is, well, a few romantic thrusts?
A friend of mine recently came to me because she was concerned she’d never had an orgasm. After a (slightly drunken) conversation, we got to the bottom of her problem. She assumed that once the penis went in, an orgasm would just ‘happen’ for her. Just like that. She actually, genuinely didn’t understand that it might take more work than her star-fishing it on the bed and letting him go for gold.
I also once had a boyfriend who would get incredibly frustrated whenever I would try to coax him into working on my clit-area. He actually told me that he found it ‘offensive’ that vaginal sex wasn’t enough for me. It really annoyed him that I didn’t just scream like a porn star the second he blessed me with the honour of his glorious peen in my vagina.