Anyone who’s ever read Perfume knows that bottling a woman’s essence is not just next to impossible, it’s also creepy as hell. And yet that’s what the creators of the world’s first “vaginal beer” claim to have done.
Introducing the craft beer equivalent of panty-sniffing, Bottled Instinct; brewed with bacteria from a woman’s vagina.
“Imagine woman of your dreams (sic), your object of desire. Her charm, her sensuality, her passion,” the beer’s enigmatic creators Order of Yoni write breathlessly on their website.
“Now free your fantasies and imagine that with a magic wand you can close it in one bottle of beer.”
Using “hi-tech microbiology” the amateur scientists took lactic acid from the genitals of Czech model Alexandra Brendlova and used it as the basis of their home brew. Kind of like hyper-sexual homeopaths, I guess.
“The bacteria, lactobacillus, transfers woman’s features, allure, grace, glamour, and her instincts into beers and other products, turning them into a dance with lovely angel,” they explain, exhibiting a Year 8 boy-level understanding of women… and science.