So we can all agree that last year’s sh*t show of an Australian Bachelor finale reached peak reality TV ~drama~ , right?
You know, when Nick Cummins chose not a single one of the 25 women he had strung along for weeks, infuriating the contestants and leaving us all feeling, well, ripped-off?
(We’re sorry to re-open old wounds, by the way).
Watch: Things we say while watching The Bachelor. Post continues after.
Well, it turns out we were wrong. We haven’t even seen drama compared to the US Bachelor.
US Bachie Colton Underwood just made Nick Cummins choosing no one look boring.
His finale actually involved stunts and we want our money back.
Because if we were going to be disappointed, we would have at least liked to have seen a man scale an 8-foot fence in a suit, which is precisely what happened in the US finale this week.
This seems… unnecessary:
Underwood (who is also a 27-year-old virgin, which was only mentioned approximately 8,000 times throughout the season), not only chose neither of the two remaining contestants, but went rogue and fled the prison otherwise known as Bachelor Mansion to pursue a woman who had rejected him the week prior.
…Only to have her look at him like a door-to-door salesman she instantly regretted opening the door to.
Oh, but it gets better.
He then proceeded to tell her he was confident he could “persuade her to love him”.
Adding in a testimonial to the camera: “If things go well, Cassie could be in love with me by the end of next week,” and, mate, we don’t think that’s how it works, but OK.
Rather reluctantly, she accepted (words which should never be used to describe entering a relationship), and now they seem to be in love and wait just a second.
— Colton Underwood (@colton) March 13, 2019