Now, this is going to be a tough pill to swallow, but there are people (heathens) out there, who are of the opinion that an obsession with skincare and beauty is nothing more than vain, materialistic, unnecessary BS.

And I know this because I’ve lived with at least two of them. The men-emy.

Suffice to say, the man of the house these days is me... closely followed by a small, badly behaved Pomeranian – who, apart from losing his sh*t that one time I tried a charcoal mask, doesn’t seem to mind.

Watch: Speaking of face masks... check out how to make a DIY lip and face mask with coffee. Post continues below.

Recently, I was struck down with a case of stress-related dermatitis. The worst part of this was that for over a week, even water stung my face and I couldn’t use anything except Sorbolene cream. Blegh.

During this terrible time I had two epiphanies. The first was that skincare actually has very little to do with looks, or even skin. Far from being a pursuit of vanity, it was actually akin to a spiritual ritual – a daily reminder to make time for myself.

Losing those two little windows each day where I peacefully applied my products, affording myself a little love and care, I was at a sudden loss on how to unwind. Sorry, Sorbolene.

No longer able to slather and spritz my cares away, I did the next best thing. Got online. If I can’t do skincare, I’ll justlookat skincare. Which is precisely what I was doing when I had epiphany number two: sometimes beauty IS materialistic, unnecessary BS.

But FFS don’t tell the men.

I mean, come on. Diamond encrusted make-up brushes! Solid gold moisturiser scoops! Special wrist covers that stop water dripping down to your elbows whenever you wash your face! Like... you’re going to have to use a towel afterwards, anyway. Is it really THAT HARD to also dry your arms!?

I thought companies could sell, sell, sell just by putting 'baby' on something. But apparently you can flog some crap by slapping 'beauty' on it, too.

Behold, some of my finest unnecessary finds. Still kinda want them, though.

The Beauty Fridge, $219.95.

Nope, your eyes do not deceive you! That really is a tiny little $220 fridge for your products. Just to clarify, this one is not on my wishlist, mainly because my bathroom is so small I can’t even bend down to shave my legs without my ass hitting the tap, let alone fit in a fridge.

Psst: Should we really be storing our cosmetics in a beauty fridge? Or is there no real difference between room-temperature and cold products? Find out on this episode of You Beauty.

Does it seem environmentally unfriendly? Hell yeah. Does the prospect of plugging an electrical appliance in next to the sink scream 'danger'? You bet.

What’s wrong with the regular fridge? Beats me! According to one purchaser, the problem is "it isn’t in the room where I do my beauty stuff." But neither is the toilet, and you still walk there...

Dr. Dennis Gross Spectralite Faceware Pro, $696.

Be still my beating heart, for I have coveted this $696 LED face mask for YEARS.

I treated myself to red light therapy the first time I dropped my twins off at daycare and it instantly took me from someone with bad skin to v. v. good skin and I’ve been a convert ever since.

If you want to tell acne and wrinkles exactly where to go, AND look like a slasher from a horror movie while you do it, there are plenty of at-home LED masks available... but this one has a mouth holejuuuustbig enough for a straw, meaning you can still sip your G&T as you use it – completely justifying its beyond budget cost.

Maaemo Citrine Crystal Infusion Water Bottle, $110.