I can only imagine how hard it must be to name your child.
So much pressure: will they like it? Will we like it? What happens if they become Prime Minister? What happens if people pronounce it incorrectly? Does it mean something rude in another language?
But it seems that some people have really buckled under the pressure.
Judging by their, um, unusual choices; these parents either panicked or were absolutely off-their-face drunk when they selected their children’s unique baby names.
Case in point? Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin naming their firstborn daughter, ‘Apple’.
But what they might not have realised it is actually illegal to call your child ‘Apple’ in some parts of the world. In fact, in Malaysia it is illegal to call your child after any fruit or vegetable. (Seems fair, to be honest.)
Yep, different countries have varying rules about what names are and are not legal to name children.
So if you’re flicking desperately through the phone book for ideas for your new bub’s name, make sure you cross these off the list.
1. Medicare number
No, we’re not talking the words ‘Medicare number’ — we mean the identifying string of numbers that relate to your health insurance. This was just one of many names the Australian Registry of Births, Deaths and Marriage banned this year, and probably for good reason.
While it’s a sure-fire way to memorise your Medicare number for times you forget your card, we recommend just writing it down somewhere you’ll always see it, rather than on a child’s birth certificate.
2. [Blank Space]
We have a feeling this name was around even before Taylor Swift’s hit song; regardless, the Australian registry didn’t quite like it. Aside from the difficult of actually verbalising ‘blank space’, the registrar refused this name because it contains symbols or numbers — a big no-no in their guidelines. They can also refuse if they think the child will be bullied as a result of the naming choice.
This one is rather self-explanatory. Worryingly, though, this name is not illegal in the US — a supremacist family in the States named a number of their children after Nazi figures.
We don’t even know where to begin with this one. Incredibly, Australian parents also tried to name their children D*ckhead, Virgin, Scrotum and Circumcision. Thankfully they were all banned for being offensive and obscene.
Anyone else a little disappointed this one got the cut? #Patriotism.