Alright guys, I’m just going to remind you – other people’s weddings are not about you and they’re not an event that gives you permission to judge.
Weddings are actually about two people – the bride and groom.
Yes, most of the time those two people want to have other special people as part of their day – the really special ones get to be part of the bridal party. They help organise, they help celebrate, they get to stand up next to the newly weds on the alter and sit at a viewing table during reception so everyone can watch them eat.
They are special people, but they don’t have to be equal.
It's a new wedding trend (maybe not even a trend) but definitely something that's happening down aisles everywhere. And a lot of people are feeling judged or insecure about it. Probably because everyone is judging them - so guys, we really need to stop.
Stop judging wedding parties that have 'mismatched' bridal parties. It doesn't matter if a wedding is symmetrical or not.
A friend of mine recently got married and had a 'mismatched' bridal party. She had four bridesmaids, he had three groomsmen. It wasn't a big deal - not to the bride and groom - not to the bridal party. But the guests had their pity faces on.
Prior to the wedding they'd asked my girlfriend, "are you going to drop one, or is he going to find someone else?" Even on the day, she had comments from her guests.
The third groomsman just got to link his arms around two bridesmaids when walking down the aisle and in to the reception.
Another friend of mine told me about a wedding she was going to. The bride had a massive falling out with one of her bridesmaids just weeks before the wedding and she was so concerned about having an uneven bridal party, her fiancée had to ask one of his groomsmen to step down (suit was already paid for). Ouch.
There was also a friend who felt so much pressure to have an even bridal party that she forced herself to pick a third bridesmaid just to match with her husband's grooms. She admits looking back maybe it wasn't necessary.
It seems to be a dilemma facing most couples today - because really what are the chances that your lives are perfectly symmetrical? And it seems to be a mould that many couples are breaking, but not without stress.
The worry stems from three things.
They worry about the 'odd one' feeling awkward.
They worry that if they have less, they don't have many friends.
And they worry about what other people think. Because people care. For some reason people care when there is an extra person (or three) standing on one side of the alter.
So guys, let me just remind you again. Other people's weddings aren't about you. And it's okay if they're not perfectly symmetrical.
Have you been to an 'asymmetrical' wedding? What did you think?
SCROLL THROUGH to see the funny invites people are sending out...