When I was growing up, I had what podiatrists call ‘difficult feet’.
Like my mother, and her mother before her, my feet are long and impossibly skinny. They slide out of sandals and slip out of heels. They demand constant arch attention, and require more support than a newborn child.
These are feet made for ugly shoes. Big, clumpy, safe, podiatrist-approved, clinical footwear.
And lucky for me, that’s exactly what’s coming into fashion.
Fashion is a strange game, and one that never ceases to surprise me with its impracticality and ability to polarise us normal folk, from those rare freaks of nature who can carry off midriff tops, or kohl eyeliner, or the colour mustard.
HOWEVER, the fashion gods have taken pity on the plebeians, blessing us with one of the most accessible fashion trends ever: ugly shoes.
One of our favourite shoe scenes from Sex & The City. Post continues after video…
Birkenstocks, socks-and-sandals, clumpy sneakers, and hiking boots. Brogues that look like they were made for orphans in a Dickens novel.
It is common belief the the Ugly Shoe Movement started back in 2014 when Celine released their Birkenstock-like slide shoe on a rabbit-fur base.
Following close behind was the Isabel Marant ‘Holden’ slides, and sneaking in was the original and the best: the Birkenstock.
A small selection of the très practical footwear from the Mamamia office…
In June of 2014, The Guardian reported:
“The distinctive cork-soled sandals, first produced by Karl Birkenstock in 1964, are selling out across UK retailers. Amazon.co.uk’s shoe store reports a 95% rise in sales of all varieties of the sandals in the last few weeks, while Asos has had similar success.”
Since then, every hipster worth their weight in Bondi green-juices and ironic record collections has been spotted shuffling on the fashion footpaths in black or white Birkies.
This is seriously the most comfortable fashion trend I’ve endured since Juicy Couture velour tracksuits circa 2004.