No newlywed sets out to take photos like these. And yet, somehow – through the coercion of a fancy photographer with a glossy book full of happy, married couples – they all find themselves smooshing cake into their partner’s face for the camera.
These are the 11 types of wedding photos that every newlywed has in their album. Look familiar?
1. The horizontal bride, because why should the groomsmen be left out of the action?
2. The running shot (this is highly practical when you’re wearing a tulle meringue)
3. The ‘dress hanging in the window’ looking purrrrdy pic.
4. The ‘gotcha’ shot for all those women who ‘snagged’ a man. Ugh.
5. The cigar shot (AKA the ‘I’m a man, so I’d best give myself cancer to maintain the low life expectancy of my gender… grrr, manliness’ shot)
6. The ‘swept off my feet, literally’ shot.
Eiffel Tower optional.
7. The ‘Oh, goodness – is that a photographer? Well, we’d best kiss behind these flowers then. There’s nothing more shameful than kissing in public on your wedding day. How showy.’
8. The group jump. Where inevitable someone mistimes their take-off and one gets serious air.
And you just know that photo would have taken about 4,2006 attempts.
9. The ‘Do we even know each other? Or are we just beautiful hipster strangers staring at a camera?’
Has anyone else noticed this trend? You can stand within three feet of each other, newlyweds! It’s your wedding day, not a game of netball.
10. The ‘food fight because we’re so cute!’
11. The ‘Oh, look! A vintage bike!’ shot
Note: Bike may be exchanged for: vintage car, basket, horse, dilapidated barn… Do the photographers bring this stuff with them? Or have our nation’s golf courses become tips for hipsters?
What’s the cliche wedding photo that gets your goat? Are you guilty of any of the above (don’t worry, we all are!) Any more to add to the list?
Vogue has named the wedding trends that are over for 2017.