With Father’s Day approaching, we decided to conduct a lengthy and scientific study (we didn’t), observing all the different types of ‘dad’ personas out there. We know exactly who they are; we can spot them from a distance; and sometimes we may even recognise them as our own.
We present to you a round-up of the most prevailing and recognisable ‘dads’ out there to date.
We’ve all got a friend who has that Hipster Dad, you know the one. He’s trendy in a way that’s a little bit off, but we’ve got to give him points for trying. He dresses in a cringe-worthy fedora and listens to Triple J – he also insists you need to hear the new Black Keys track (we’ll ignore the fact that it isn’t in fact new, but just go with it). He’s down with the lingo – everything is ‘rad’ or gets a ‘yeah, nice!’ response. As long as the term ‘lol’ doesn’t come out of his mouth, we’ll allow the rest.
While we may give Hipster Dad a bit of flack behind his back, he holds a special place in our hearts. He’s the dad that tries to make conversation about the things that may only be of interest with us, he dresses pretty snappy most of the time, and he’s always willing to try the new pub around the corner.
This Father’s Day, let’s raise a craft brew to all the Hipster Dads out there. The ever-enduring effort he makes to ‘keep up with the times’ means he well and truly deserves it. But only if it’s from Young Henry’s, please.
Straight-Talking Traditional Dad.
Fulfilling all of the quintessential dad stereotypes, Straight-Talking Traditional Dad doesn’t mess around when it comes to his fatherly duties. He makes sure the household respects the sanctity of Friday night football, which means no channel-changing; no outside dinner plans; and extra points for yelling ‘Go son!’ to the players on the TV screen at regular intervals. He’ll save your ass and come through for you, but he’ll make sure you hear about it later.
He intimidates formal dates and disapproves of every high school boyfriend you’ve ever had (which he’s always right about in the end). He’ll probably encourage you to study something ‘useful’/boring/you have no interest in. He knows the importance of quiet time and never underestimates the power of a stiff drink at the end of a long day (a glass of Label 5 Gold Heritage Scotch Whisky never goes astray). And as much as we might have the urge, at times, to scream at straight-talking traditional dad for being too stuck in his ways, there’s a lot to love about this protective, straight-up, tells-it-like-he-sees-it dad type. (Except for the fact he’ll never forget the $20 you owe him).
Image: Buena Vista Pictures (10 Things I Hate About You).
Raising kids is no easy feat, but Traditional Dad has stuck to his guns and has even indulged us with his God-given right of dad jokes from time to time (one is too many if you ask me). We’re indulging him for once with a bottle of his favourite whiskey this Father’s Day (Rollins Tennessee is his go-to FYI), and we may even leave him alone for some quiet time too.
Ahh Master-Chef Dad, how you never cease to amaze us. He’s the gateway to the latest culinary delight; he has a passion for the finer things in life; and, most importantly, he appreciates a drop of good red. He is forever singing the praises of Penfolds Bin 407 Cabernet Sauvignon.