What it’s really like inside the minds of tweens in 2024.

"They grow up too fast these days."

"They've got the entire world's information at their fingertips."

"Kids these days will never know the struggles we did." 

In 2024, people have A LOT of different opinions about whether the kids of today — Gen Alpha — have it easier or harder than the generations before them. 

And as a mum of two tween-aged boys, aged 9 and 12, I worry constantly about what affect devices and technology might have on them and their mental health as they grow up. 

When I gave my eldest a phone for his 12th birthday, it felt like I handed over his first carton of cigarettes. 

When I was growing up, my biggest worries were making sure I had the latest Impulse deodorant scent, my unrequited crush on the basketball coach and my at-home hair dye fail.

And sure, we had the messed up magazine covers with headlines encouraging toxic dieting, heroin chic bodies and misguided messages in movies telling us Kate Winslet was 'curvy' in Titanic. 

But we could disconnect.

We could turn away and enjoy just being a kid when we got home from school or sport. We didn't have filters or algorithms, constantly comparing us with impossible standards from dusk til dawn.

So are the tweens of today really okay, and what sorts of worries are they facing? 

To get the answers, I spoke to Margo Ward, the founder and CEO of KidsXpress — a pioneering children's mental health charity — to find out more about the complex world our tweens are navigating.

And it might not be what you were expecting… 

They're growing up at an accelerated pace. 

"Life becomes very overwhelming at a very young age," Ward explained, highlighting the accelerated pace at which tweens are encountering adult-like stressors. 

"What we used to see in 15, 16, and 17-year-olds, we're now seeing in eight and 9-year-olds." 

One of the key factors contributing to this shift is the unprecedented access tweens have to information.

"They are very, very concerned about what's happening in the world because they do get access to that information, and it feels that it's very much in front of them because they have access to all the media," Ward explained.  

This constant exposure to global events and adult conversations can be overwhelming for young minds that aren't yet equipped to process such complex information.

"Their worlds are not small anymore," Ward pointed out, highlighting how the boundaries between childhood and adulthood are blurring. 

This expanded worldview, while potentially enriching, can also be a source of anxiety and stress for tweens who struggle to contextualise and process the information they're absorbing.

Their social interactions never end. 

The social landscape for tweens has also evolved dramatically.

"They are definitely dealing with far earlier complexity around friendship groups and issues with bullying is definitely one of them, because it's relentless," Ward explained.

The traditional school day no longer defines their social interaction.

"You just don't go to school from 9am to 3pm anymore. As soon as you get home, you're on WhatsApp Groups."

This constant connectedness means their interactions essentially never end, blending into each day and meaning kids aren't getting that respite from what can be a stressful or anxious time for them. 

The pandemic still looms in their minds.

While adults may have moved on from events like the COVID-19 lockdowns, Ward's work has revealed  that children are still grappling with the aftereffects. 

"Our kids are still dealing with some of that anxiety and trauma because for a lot of them, it was in those very, very formative years," she explained. 

Concerns about potential future lockdowns or the need to wear masks again linger in the minds of many tweens, contributing to a sense of uncertainty and anxiety. As adults we have moved on, but for many kids the threat of it happening again is very real in their little minds. 

"They lost grandparents, they lost their relationship with their grandparents, they lost that ability to physically trust society," she said. 

So, how do we help our tweens? 

While all of the above can feel overwhelming, Ward shared practical steps and ideas on how to support your kids through these formative years. 

Recognising the signs.  

For parents and caregivers, being attuned to subtle changes in behaviour is crucial. 

Ward advises, "It could be as simple as all of a sudden they want more cuddles and we think that's great." However, she encourages parents to dig deeper, asking questions about what might be prompting this need for connection. 

Changes in routine, or a reluctance to participate in previously enjoyed activities, can be indicators of underlying stress or anxiety.

The role of community. 

Ward emphasises the importance of a supportive community in addressing tween mental health. "We need our teachers, our coaches, our aunts, our uncles, to bring back the village," she said.

It's important to encourage your child to have connections with other trusted adults they feel comfortable confiding in, who also know how to spot the signs, so they can feel supported. 

It's about being attentive to their needs, creating safe spaces for expression and fostering a supportive community to help them through any issues that arise. 

"There comes a point where we need to stop just pulling people out of the river. We need to go upstream and find out why they're falling in," she said. 

To find out more about Kids Xpress and the work they do, click here. 

Feature image: Canva.