It was a Monday afternoon and I’d rushed straight from work to make the appointment. My GP got to the point very quickly. She told me that the results of my third MRI showed a lesion in my spinal canal that was putting severe pressure on my nerves.
After the initial shock wore off and I left her office, paper referral to a neurosurgeon in hand, I felt relief, which initially surprised me. But I was relieved – I finally had an answer for the months of debilitating pain I'd been experiencing.
The struggle had been mental as well as physical. Those months had given me an intimate perspective on life with chronic pain and it was a daily test of my willpower and resilience to keep going.
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During these months I was scared to stop, even for a day. I was scared to take a day off work. Scared to stop and feel the pain as it was too much to handle so much of the day. I was scared that one morning I wouldn’t be able to get out of bed at all; scared my daughter would see me like that.