Anyone with children will know that travelling with small beings is anything but a ‘holiday’.
Well, unless you consider a ‘holiday’ (temporarily) losing a child in a foreign city, being covered in projectile vomit or much worse (Yes, it’s possible).
It’s something Mia Freedman was quick to acknowledge in the first episode back of the Mamamia Out Loud podcast when talking about her summer ‘holiday’.
“At this stage I would like to go anywhere alone…which is why I’ve come in to the office to do this podcast! No, I’m officially still on holidays, but just because my kids have been off school for about 45o weeks and I can’t breaaaathe. They’re suffocating me,” she said.
“It’s been funny watching friends of ours who went on holiday with their baby and it was the first holiday with their baby as parents and I just watched the slow burning shock on their faces as they realised ‘holidays’ now had a different meaning.”
In fact, it almost needs a completely different word.
“It’s just as a very wise friend of mine said, don’t even call it a holiday because that just gets your expectations up, you should just call them ‘taking your children to a different location’,” she said.
Not yet convinced? These 100 per cent true “holiday” with children stories should change your mind.
“When we went overseas in 2007, my sister would do this funny thing where whenever we drove anywhere she’d projectile vomit on everyone and everything. She was like three years old.”
Watch: Parents confess whether they have a favourite child. Post continues after video.
2. Foreign hamster.
Alison probably thought she’d hit the jackpot when her Airbnb in Copenhagen came with a hamster that her kids loved playing with… until it died and she hurriedly tried to look for a replacement.
“I think the highlight was my husband signing up to a Danish rodent forum and asking people where one might buy a small white hamster on a Sunday in Copenhagen,” she told Essential Kids.
3. Travelling nits.
Total. Nightmare. It has to be heard to be believed. (Post continues after audio.)
4. First class thief.
“My one-year-old son stole my bed on a first class long haul flight. He took up all the room. I was so uncomfortable. We got the flight with points – I will probably never be on first class again. At least he knows how to travel in style!”
5. Road trip.
“We were driving to Melbourne or something and we were going around this super wind-ey road, so one at a time all four kids started vomiting. And then Jack stopped and kept complaining that he was so hungry while we all kept vomiting.”
6. Got milk?
Shae was attempting to breastfeed her four-month-old on a long haul flight when things went astray.
"She pulled off and a jet of milk shot straight from my nipple INTO THE FACE OF THE BUSINESSMAN NEXT TO ME. I almost died," she told Essential Kids.
"When my sister and I were four years old and my twin brothers were just two years old, we were at the coast and I woke everyone up at 6am and decided to go to the beach.
"We all went and mum and dad woke up and all four kids were missing and a lady has seen me USHERING the other three across the road like a bloody teacher! We were in our pyjamas playing in the sand."
Listen in full to the latest episode of Mamamia Out Loud.
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