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This article is an edited version of one that originally appeared on Tamara Holland's Substack. Sign up here .
Something I like to ask myself when I'm shopping or just putting a look together is, "If no one saw this but me, would I still love it?"
It's a good thought experiment because it challenges you to separate your own taste from what you're being served, or what's reinforced by the algorithm across your channels.
Watch: How to use the Three Word Method. Post continues below.
On a recent episode of Mamamia's fashion podcast Nothing To Wear, co-host Lucinda Pikkat made the point that generally speaking, our "style" is now outsourced — through influencers, tastemakers and a constant influx of curated content.
I don't necessarily think having all this information to-hand is a bad thing. We've always looked to other sources to feed us inspiration and advice — it's just shifted over the decades from knitting patterns and social papers to magazines and video clips and, now, viral posts.
It's gotten easier. Does that mean we've gotten lazier? That argument feels a bit redundant.
We don't have a choice, unless we switch off entirely. And I don't want to switch off, because I love seeing what other women are wearing and shopping and sharing. It enriches my experience as a fashion lover and consumer.
It's just up to us to be more discerning. These days I take some pride in the things I don't buy — I can admire a trend and think it looks good, but not necessarily feel the need to wear it.
I suppose it's true that style can be outsourced, but taste should always be personal.
During the episode, Lucinda and I also updated each other on our "three words" — if you're not across it, the viral Three Word Method was coined by LA stylist Allison Bornstein, wherein you identify three describing words to help define your style — for example "classic," "minimalist," etc.
She calls these words "a personal recipe for dressing." Bornstein even wrote a book about the concept, Wear It Well, sharing the thinking behind her popular method as well as other systems she uses as a professional stylist to help people get dressed more easily.
But Bornstein says her three-word methodology was never meant to take a 'set and forget' approach. In a recent edition of her popular Substack newsletter, the stylist said your words can — and will — change.
"The three words are not a prescription," Bornstein wrote.
"Style is a reflection of who we are, so as we change and evolve, so will our style."
If we're too attached to our words, they can keep us stuck in a style rut, and stop us from experimenting and finding what really works for us.
Bornstein says it's helpful to try and test different combinations of words.
"Try one for a week of getting dressed, and if it doesn't feel right, alter it, change it," she writes.
"Figure out what isn't hitting and use another word or phrase. These are not set in stone. These are meant to be helpful and not limiting or confusing."
I looked back at how my words have evolved over the years since last declaring them publicly.

Back in 2021, I settled on "effortless, neutral, considered" — and while that isn't miles away from how I dress now, it's funny how unrelatable a word like neutral is to my current wardrobe. Five years can change a lot.
I don't think we find our look and settle for good — we're constantly tuning and refining.
My current words are "bohemian, relaxed, elevated." I used to shy away from the bohemian thing, thinking it felt too specific (even costume-y), but we don't have to be so literal about the words. They're not identity markers; they can just help evoke a mood. Or filter our choices.
"These words only need to make sense to you," Bornstein reiterates.
"They can be phrases, they can be feelings — they don't have to be words... I have clients who use cities as their words!"
The outfits I feel like myself in always have some element of the bohemian, whether it's a robe-like jacket, a knitted pant or piles of gold jewellery.

In a previous post, I wrote about never going "full boho" with a look — I wouldn't do the robe with a maxi skirt, because that would take it to a different place. Instead, I'll style it with jeans to temper the boho element.
That's the twist that makes it to my taste. The personal bit.
The best part about getting your fashion inspiration online in 2026 is that you can cherry-pick and source what you love, and ignore what you don't.
Remember, no one is actually prescribing you anything.
Sign up to Tamara Holland's Substack here .
For more helpful style advice and shopping recommendations, subscribe to the weekly Nothing to Wear Substack, listen to the Nothing to Wear podcast or watch Nothing to Wear on YouTube.
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