A US bride-to-be who is in that very situation recently wrote to The Washington Post columnist Carolyn Hax asking for advice.
The woman, who went by the alias “Depressed Bride“, told Hax about her mother, who is narcissistic, controlling and manipulative. The bride also said her mum often “spreads half-truths that make me look bad, says hurtful things and tries to sabotage my plans”.
Apparently the toxic mother even told her not to bother inviting her extended family because they didn’t want to come to the wedding anyway. The bride went on to ask Hax if she should invite her extended family to the wedding.
The bride adds, "We are sending our Save the Dates soon. Should I still invite my family and address any concerns that come up? Should I reach out to my family beforehand? Or should I cut my losses? I’m still planning on inviting my mother, stepfather and siblings (who go along with whatever my mother says)."
The response? Brilliant.
Instead of giving vague platitudes, Hax bluntly asked why she was inviting her toxic mother in the first place.