Should you invite your toxic parents to your wedding?

Planning a wedding is always tough – but when you have toxic parents, it’s even tougher.

A US bride-to-be who is in that very situation recently wrote to The Washington Post columnist Carolyn Hax asking for advice.

The woman, who went by the alias “Depressed Bride“, told Hax about her mother, who is narcissistic, controlling and manipulative. The bride also said her mum often “spreads half-truths that make me look bad, says hurtful things and tries to sabotage my plans”.

Apparently the toxic mother even told her not to bother inviting her extended family because they didn’t want to come to the wedding anyway. The bride went on to ask Hax if she should invite her extended family to the wedding.

Should you invite your "narcissistic, controlling and manipulative" mother to your wedding? Image via iStock.

The bride adds, "We are sending our Save the Dates soon. Should I still invite my family and address any concerns that come up? Should I reach out to my family beforehand? Or should I cut my losses? I’m still planning on inviting my mother, stepfather and siblings (who go along with whatever my mother says)."

The response? Brilliant.

Instead of giving vague platitudes, Hax bluntly asked why she was inviting her toxic mother in the first place.


She responded, "You start your account with the shockingly hateful things she does to you. Shortly after, you finish with “I’m still planning on inviting my mother [to my wedding].”...there’s also a strong argument for not carrying significant family baggage into this next chapter.

Planning a wedding when you have toxic parents is tough. Image via iStock.

"You want to start a marriage healthy, not torn and 'depressed' about hosting a party for people you assume don’t support you and you possibly don’t even like," Hax continued.

Hax then advised the bride to take the time to discover who was worth keeping in her life and who were the people who really had her back.

She warned that a 'mumstorm of epic proportions' might occur if she didn't invite her mum - but that it might be worth it.

It's refreshingly honest advice - and we hope the bride takes note and can enjoy her big day.

Do you think toxic parents should be invited to a wedding?

TAP on the image below and scroll through the gallery of funny wedding invites...