Happy Golden Globes Day, you guys!

We all woke up this morning buzzing with excitement to see who would a) Nail it, or b) Go for the “Oh, that’s an interesting choice (WTF)” option at the 2016 Golden Globes red carpet.

Host Ricky Gervais, on the other hand, woke up like this:

Nice.

Anyway, it’s Kit Kat time – grab your phone, and sneak away somewhere your boss/boyfriend/child/husband can’t find you to join us in trawling the best of the best trends from this year’s Golden Globe red carpet.

SPARKLY NAKED VIBE

If I take my glasses off and squint really hard, these ladies look like upright sparkly naked mermaids. That’s the idea, right? Fashion?

Rosie Huntington-Whitely

Brie Larson

Amanda Peet

Kate Hudson

LADY CAPES

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s the slightly debilitating trend that restricted our arm movement last year: lady capes!

Regina King

Giuliana Rancic

Jennifer Lopez

Emilia Clarke

50 SHADES OF BLUE

I always thought navy was for Catholic school uniforms, but there’s something jazzy about blue. *Cue Miranda Priestly monologue about Cerulean*

Alan Cumming

Gina Rodriguez

Joanne Froggatt

Julianne Moore

OOH PRETTY, JEWELS

When I was eight years old I was in a tap dancing recital and our costume pants were made from sequins and stick on plastic gems. By the end of the Hot Shoe Shuffle my poor little bum was scratched up like a third-generation Toyota Corolla.

Kate Bosworth

Bryce Dallas Howard

Leslie Mann

NO-BRA NECKLINES

As my mum would say, these dresses are NOT appropriate for church on Sunday.

Olivia Wilde

Sophia Bush

Kirsten Dunst

Jenna Dewan Tatum

WHITE, ALL WHITE. SO MUCH WHITE.

I like to wear white because it makes my Dove Holiday Skin really pop. I don’t like wearing white because I have consistent anxiety about standing near people holding mugs and/or getting a torrential rush of menstrual blood appearing from nowhere.

Laverne Cox

Judith Light

Saoirse Ronan

Alicia Vikander

BOOBS

So like, I understand that breasts have been a great accessory since the beginning of time but I really feel that this year they are demanding a special mention. YELLING AT MY EYEBALLS DEMANDING MY ATTENTION.

( . Y . )

Katy Perry

Lady Gaga

Kirsten Dunst (again, because ~boobs)

PULLIN’ SHAPES

If these dresses were a profession, they would be art teachers. Nice, weird, and polarising to parents who aren’t quite sure that ‘cigarette paper origami’ is appropriate for the Grade Two curriculum.

Olivia Palermo

Natalie Dormer

Patricia Arquette

SEQUINS, DARLING

Hundreds of thousands of individually, hand-sewn, sequins that probably drove the poor seamstress to madness, a la Joan Crawford in ‘Mommie Dearest’: “NO! MORE! SEQUINSSS!”

Felicity Huffman

Melissa McCarthy

Uzo Aduba

Taylor Schilling

Who was your favourite on this year’s red carpet?