So we thought we’d uncovered the world’s most terrifying toy, but it turns out the horrifying tooth-monsters are not as scary as we first thought.
Apparently, they’re called Fugglers and you can buy them online from Mrs McGettrick’s Fuggler Emporium.
The teeth are actually false teeth, which the elusive Mrs McGettrick finds on eBay — not in the mouths of tiny children, as the Internet led us to believe.
Here’s what we wrote on Fugglers, formerly scary tooth-monster dolls:
Watching a child grow up is challenging for most parents.
It’s blink-and-you’ll-miss-it, buying baby booties one day and confiscating cigarettes the next.
I can imagine the urge to document it all would be overwhelming.
Pictures, videos, tiny hand prints in plaster moulds, tiny dated lines moving their way up the door frame… Anything you can do to make sure you don’t forget a thing.
Introducing the ‘Tooth Monster’ doll, direct from Pinterest to a nightmare near you.
These abominations are apparently a quirky and not-extremely-terrifying way to store your child’s first set of chompers.
Here’s the hilariously snide description that accompanies the image of the doll posted on Pinterest.
Look, I can see why you’d keep the first tooth or even a few tucked away in an envelope for safe keeping, but do you really need the whole set?
Don’t even get me started on the doll itself.
Why does it look so pained?
Why does it have a kitten’s nose and crazy frog’s eyes?
Why do they yell ‘Help me, I was not intended for this world’?
Do you think a kitten actually lost its nose to bring this monster into being?
Would you honestly let this thing near your child?
What happened to the tooth fairy, do you think she took one look at this thing and got the f*ck out?
Chucky scared me. This doll has scarred me.
Good luck sleeping ever again.