Tom Hanks in his original Forrest Gump audition tape.

The following video is apparently Tom Hanks’ original Forrest Gump audition tape.

If, like most people, you thought Hanks was born to play the role of Forrest, it will confuse you.

Watch it and then let’s talk it out together.

Okay, we’ve got a few questions/comments:

1. Was Tom Hanks auditioning for the role of Forrest Gump or for the role of Tom Hanks-in-smart-casual mode? Because he knocked the latter right out of the park.

2. It turns out an extremely heavy Southern accent was the defining character trait that made ol’ Forrest so charming and sympathetic. Without it, he’s just another random fellow in a khaki windcheater, spending a suspiciously lengthy stint at a public bus stop and harbouring a bad case of chronic oversharing.

3. We’re pretty sure Tom Hanks had already landed the role (one that earned him a Best Actor Oscar) prior to this taping, because if this was his audition, he’s not getting a call-back.

4. Had anyone else completely forgotten that The Sixth Sense kid Haley Joel Osment played Forrest Jr?

5. Robin Wright is like a fine wine, but one of those wines that was BORN exceptionally beautiful and continued to plateau at that level of heavenly for the next several decades. She was amazing as Jenny – a character who was really set up to be supremely unlikable.

6. This audition tape is far superior:

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