‘Toddler car spew dad’ confesses that he made up some of the story.

Earlier this week, we chuckled heartily as we read one dad’s desperate text messages to his wife.

For those who missed it: On Friday, Ben Patterson spent some time with young son Declan, to allow his wife Stephanie to enjoy some time with friends. They swapped cars and Ben was happily driving away with his son when parenting tragedy struck: 

Declan projectile vomited. Everywhere.

After sending a stream of texts pleading with Stephanie to return and help him with the puke that smelt like “whale blubber” (good luck with that one, mate) Ben said things got even worse.

While he was sympathy vomiting, an onlooker from the neighbourhood called the local police.

“Aaaaand now the cops showed up,” he messaged his non-responsive wife before adding, “Aaaaand now a breathalyzer”.

It’s a pretty entertaining visual, isn’t it? The puking dad being mistaken as a drunk. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-HA! The story went gangbusters and racked up over 150,000 shares. ‘What a story!’ we all collectively exclaimed and Ben became a cult icon overnight.

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Well – WELL – it turns out Benny boy is a little guilty of telling us all a white lie. And his viral story really was too good to be true.

Overnight everyone’s favourite puke cleanin’ dad came clean about something: The. Police. Were. Never. There.

You see, the breathalyzer bizzo was just adding a bit of dramatic flare to the story, which Ben says was for the benefit of his wife.

“I just wanted to clarify that while the rest of the story is true, the part about the police coming and the breathalyzer was just something I added for dramatic effect for my wife in the moment,” he announced on his Facebook page. “The truth counts.”

Overwhelmed with guilt, Ben even made a trip to the local police station to apologise for fibbing.

“I actually went down to Burlingame PD and chatted with them and we had a good laugh about things. The ‘barf heard round the world’ was bad, but it didn’t include a breathalyzer!”

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