Picture a mum…
Most likely, she is on her feet all day long.
She makes breakfast, washes dishes, and does the laundry. She preps terrific birthday parties and does her best so her kids will be happy every day.
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Pre-pandemic times, she essentially was a taxi driver, dropping kids here and there so they could attend their diverse activities. Nowadays, she supervises online learning and tries to make their kids’ life as normal as possible. And we are not even talking about her job, you know, the one that pays the bills.
It’s her responsibility. She is tired all the time and sometimes struggles to find a moment to take a shower, but that’s what mums are for, right?
How come, when we think of a Mother, we have this vision of a woman who completely loses herself? A woman who disappears…
Every minute of her day is consumed tending to other people’s needs. Her own don’t matter anymore. Not only that, but we also romanticise this sacrifice.
At moments, it even turns into some sort of sick competition: the more you forget about yourself, the better. And, if you manage to vanish entirely, if there’s nothing left but the memory of you, then you have somehow won.
So what? Aren’t all mothers suppose to make sacrifices for their offspring. After all, our children did not ask to be brought into this world. Not only that but, at least for the first years of their lives, they entirely depend on us.
Aren’t we supposed to take care of them? To keep them safe?
Well, yes, we are. They are our responsibility; however, it seems to me we have taken this to pathological levels. In our quest to be good mothers, we forget that, first of all, we also need to be ourselves. Otherwise, we engage in a vicious cycle: we sacrifice everything so our children can be happy and prosperous, but, at the same time, we tell them good parents must forsake their personal lives for their children’s joy. Heck, we even tell them having children is the one true key to happiness. Let’s begin with that…
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