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'Angie, I'm begging you. Please don't take long-haired larrikin Timm to The Bachelorette finale.'

To catch up on all the Bachelorette Australia 2019 recaps and gossip, check out Mamamia’s recaps and visit our Bachelorette hub page.

In case it isn’t clear from the fact this is my 200th article about The Bachelorette‘s Timm Hanly in the past couple of weeks, we’re big fans of the long-haired larrikin.

And by big fans I mean… We love him unconditionally.

Angie Kent told Mamamia what her relationship with her winner is like now and it is JUICY. Post continues below video.

Video via Mamamia

It’s Bachelorette finale week, meaning we’re finally going find out if Angie picks Timm, Carlin or Ryan and we have been riding a roller coaster of emotions because:

a. We know Timm’s not going to win but,

b. HE SHOULD WIN.

It’s hard for us, which is why I am here to beg bachelorette Angie to do something… drastic, and that is to let Timm go on Wednesday’s penultimate episode.

I KNOW, I KNOW, but we’re putting his feelings above our entertainment here. ¯\_(⍨)_/¯

Timm is:

timm the bachelorette
Sweetie
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We also like when he needs to pee mid-sentence and forgets when he has roses.

Of course, after a season featuring so many big, eccentric personalities (We still miss you, Ciarran), a finale with Carlin and Ryan would be anticlimactic and a bit... beige.

giphy-12

There would be no sunflowers, Steven Bradbury references or bum tattoos and that makes us sad, but it is a sacrifice we are willing to make for the greater good.

In the finale, Angie will have a final date with each of her top two. These final dates always get ~super serious~ because everyone talks about their feelings and how genuine they are.

Plus, finale law states all three of the below must be said:

  • "Our connection is real"
  • "Sexual chemistry"
  • "I'm falling in love"

The final dates will simulate what a relationship would be like if either man ends up with Angie, with just the two of them (and a bunch of cameras) around. There's no rose ceremony, so the final contestants never see one another.

There's not really an opportunity for either contestant to crash back to reality - that they might not be the one - until Angie is standing there in front of them, telling them just that.

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It's an intense pressure cooker situation and you can see how in such a wild scenario, feelings can be heightened and yep, hearts can be broken.

Timm's already ahead of the curve, telling Angie he was falling love with her at the end of his hometown date.

Honest and open about his feelings. Ugh, another reason we love him.

who does angie choose on the bachelorette
SIGH

The thing is, we'd rather endure two hours of boring than watch Timm have a final date with Angie, develop deeper feelings, be open and honest about them, get his hopes up and feel confident, only to then see him get out of the limo first to have his poor wee heart broken at the very last moment.

That would be TOO MUCH.

Remember Todd?

todd-king-bachelorette-crying
IMAGINE THIS BUT TIMM
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REMEMBER?

Relatedly, remember Matty J? And the moment he doubled over in emotional agony?

OUR HEARTS.

It would be like both of those scenarios combined. But so much worse.

He'd cry, we'd cry and the mansion alpacas would cry.

Producers and editors have set us up for heartbreak, making us fall for a man who looks like he's just come from a surf but also a runway, talks philosophically like he's maybe always a little bit... baked and has dreams about ducks.

Loving Timm has surprised well, all of us, but it's not going to be enough in this cruel, cruel Bachie bubble.

Which is why we'd rather it end now in the top three, giving him less time to really fall in love and also... Less opportunity for the camera to dwell on him crying, because there would be nothing pleasant or entertaining about watching Australia's long-haired boyfriend in that sort of pain.

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